Ask Me Help Desk - Best friend DILEMMA

When I moved to the town I live in now, I had no friends. I met this one girl who became my all-time best friend. We told each other everything, and she even would spend weeks and weeks at my house, and she even came on vacation with my family (my parents love her_). When high school started I met this boy that I REALLLY Liked and she would ditch me for him and hook up with him behind my back. And we would get into fights that lasted for weeks. And we have been best friends for almost 2 years. After our last fight we stopped talking. And we haven't talked in about a year. I miss her, and I've tried to talk to her, and meet up with her (which we did meet up once to talk it out, but got no where), and I'm thinking about just giving up even though I don't want to. I know she wants to be friends again, because she told me so, but I have no idea what to do, because its not the same without her. I haven't made any attempt to talk to her because I don't want to come off to strong, like a stalker, lol, so I don't know if I should give it one last shot, or wait for her to come to me. =[

Bri,
It seems like she betrayed your friendship by doing things behind your back. And it also seems like you have made attempts to patch things up with her. Can you tell me what her stand is? Does she not have the same desire to be friends again?

Boys get in the way of friendships between girls, often. The reason goes back to our primal needs and instincts as animals. But, let her know (one last time) that her friendship is more important to you than any boy and that you want to be friends again. If she is still unwilling or you find that she is not on the same page as you are, you may have to be prepared to loose this dear friend.
Good luck.

When we met up to talk things out she said she wanted to be friends again, but turned it around and said that she lost all trust in me, so I told her what she wanted to hear and said I was sorry that I shouldn't of over reacted. Because all I want is to be friends again. And she said it wouldn't be hard to build our friendship up again because we were so close, like sisters... but then I didn't hear from her, and she said she wants to be friends again, but she doesn't know if she can? Im not sure what she meant by that, but I don't know what more I have to do to prove to her it'll be different

Wait, is there something you have to be sorry about? I thought that she was the one sneaking around your back. What exactly do you have to prove to her? It sounds like she is flipping the table on you. Now you are on the defense. Is there more to the story about the boy that started this whole thing?

She started sneaking around with the boy. And I let it go when she started ditching me for the first few times. But then my sisters first birthday party came and she knew about it for weeks and she ditched the party to go with him that put me over the edge, and I confronted her about it. And she didn't like what I had to say. I told her that I let it go and I wasn't going to let her walk all over me anymore and that was our first fight. She started getting my other friends involved and I was just done completely. Then we became friends again. It was only after our first few fights that I really started to get upset and I said that maybe we need a few weeks break because we are together all the time, and it was a good break and everything was good for a few months after until her cousin became interested in me, and she accused me of using her cousin, when he lives 1000 miles away and I have never even met him. And that was the fight that ended it and we haven't talked since last year =[ except for a few montsh ago when we met up to talk. And I don't understand why she flips it on me. I mean I wasn't completely innocent, we were both wrong with some things, but she says its entirely my fault.

Try to set up a time for you to talk one more time. Try to use the time to get everything out in the open. Stay calm and don't get upset. Just let her know how you've been feeling and that you are really making an effort to get back to being friends. Give it your best shot and if it doesn't work out, you have done everything you can to save a friendship so let it go.

Hey, I know. Easier said than done, right? But, sometimes too many issues and words come between friends. And it takes an effort from BOTH to make it work. After you've done what you could, it is best to let it go so that you don't hurt anymore. Good luck

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bri N713

When i moved to the town i live in now, i had no friends. I met this one girl who became my alltime best friend. We told eachother everything, and she even would spend weeks and weeks at my house, and she even came on vacation with my family (my parents love her_). When highschool started i met this boy that i REALLLY Liked and she would ditch me for him and hook up with him behind my back. and we would get into fights that lasted for weeks. And we have been best friends for almost 2 years. After our last fight we stopped talking. and we havent talked in about a year. I miss her, and ive tried to talk to her, and meet up with her (which we did meet up once to talk it out, but got no where), and im thinking about just giving up even though i dont want to. I know she wants to be friends again, because she told me so, but i have no idea what to do, because its not the same without her. I havent made any attempt to talk to her because i dont want to come off to strong, like a stalker, lol, so I dont know if i should give it one last shot, or wait for her to come to me. =[

I have to say be calm and stay still... maybe you should let your parents and her parents maybe talk it over a bit and tell your parents how you feel. If you do that, it will give you more confidence to actually take care of the situation and also actually be calm and feel really relaxed!!

Oh my gosh! I'm going through almost the same thing.. so I totally know how you feel and how hard it is to forget about someone that means a lot to you... but I agree, you should definetely have a big talk with her and if it still goes no where you need to look at what you've tried to do to make it work and realize that you really can't do anything more... it takes two people to make a friendship work out.
But seriously good luck with this! And I want to know how it goes..