What is wrong with me? Why aren't I grieving for my grandmother?
My grandmother passed away just Tuesday gone, we were extremely close.
I’m 17 and she’s lived with me my whole life, we were more like best friends than gran/granddaughter. Anyway she had cancer and battled with it for 6 months.
Throughout her life she was hit with illnesses one after the other, she was a true fighter. I guess the last 6 months I’ve prepared myself for it.
But even now it feels surreal. Last week when it happened I was with her as she took her last breath. I can’t believe I was strong. Thinking of that moment before, I always thought I would scream my head off but I didn’t I was strong
Afterwards I cried and cried. At the funeral I broke down giving my speech at church
Now it’s not even a week since she’s gone and it feels like a 100 years ago
I feel like I’m done grieving, I’ve accepted it and I’m ready to move on and laugh and get back to normal. But this isn’t right? She meant everything to me, I should be upset, depressed, grieving and missing her but I’m not. Obviously I love her more than anything and I will miss her.
I don’t know it’s like I’m "too strong" right now and that scares me. Is this normal? Will I ever grieve for her?
I just don’t know. I feel like a cold hearted who is getting over her easily and yet she was one of the most important people in my life and her death should have a major effect on me because without her in my life. Everything will change. What’s wrong with me?!