Ask Me Help Desk

Hi I'm 19 and I haven't had sex before and ever since I was about 10 or 11 I was worried about this subject. And I would go up stairs away from my parents and watch true story shows like betrayed at 17 stalked at 17 and sexting in suburbia stuff like that. And I got my first phone when I was 9 and I would look up how to get rid of an std how to not get one stuff like that . But the std isn't what I'm worried about I'm scared to have sex with my boyfriend and I'm worried that he'll video tape us weird stuff. I don't want to be embrassed when I do lose my virginaity so I don't know what I should do!? For an example my brother is four years older then me he had sex at fourteen and I asked him about it he told me about herpes HIV std and Sid looked up stuff on YouTube Google Yahoo self this the only thing left I'm in collage but I have my own apartment and I have a job but I've never had sex , I'm just worried when it goes in it'll hurt real bad I'm scared to ware It keeps me up some nights so please help! I'm REALLY scared also I'm worried that I mete get pregnant but I've never been on birth contral or anything. And I've had a lot of boyfriends in the past who wanted me to have sex with them and I just dropped every relationship with my boyfriends and since then they've all done it but this time I'm asking him he isn't a virgin but I am so what should I do? No Hurtful comments just answers please

Please don't attempt to dictate how your question will be answered. When you ask a question on a public board you can expect a wide range of answers.

I think you are fixated on STDs and have some very unreasonable fears and trust issues. You are considering having sex with your boyfriend but are concerned he's going to secretly videotape you? Having sex with someone you don't trust 100% is always a very bad idea.

Do you see a counselor or therapist for any reason?

Strictly from a medical point of view birth control you use does not prevent STDs - nor, for that matter, does it guarantee you will not get pregnant. How old are you? I question a college student who cannot properly use "ware" and cannot spells college, "collage."

Before you have sex with your boyfriend make sure that he truly loves you, if he does he would NEVER video you two having sex, unless it is something you want. If you are worried about getting an STD ask him to go and get checked for STDs, he will understand if you explain to him about your concerns. If he isn't understanding of your feelings than you have to ask yourself if this is really the kind of person you want to lose your virginity to? A person that doesn't care or understand their partners feelings doesn't truly care about their partner. And as far as it hurting when you have sex for the first time. It really doesn't hurt that bad and the small bit of pain doesn't last that long. Just remember one thing that I have learned over the years. Sex is only really enjoyable when you have strong feelings for your partner and when when you can trust your partner and tell him what you like and don't like. Its OK (even wonderful) that you are still a virgin. Hang in there and when you find the right man to share this special and intimate time in your life with you will know and all your fears will disappear. I hope this helps you!

Thank you it really does help me and 1 more thing umm I'm scared to show my body to my boyfriend most of my friends think he is going to purpose but I'm just thinking its going to hurt real bad I mete bleed any tips please! And thank you so much :))

I'm 19 and I have spell check on my phone so yeah

And, again, I would make certain I had adequate birth control - and nothing is 100% - or you are going to be a single mother.

I'd check your phone - spellcheck is not working.

Being naked in front of someone for the first time can make anyone nervous! Just remember that if he really does love you he is not going to see the flaws that yoi think yoi have. Just the same as you won't see his. As far as the pain it's only when he first enters you and some woman say it didn't hurt at all. And yes may bleed a little but its very minimal. Just be open with your boyfriend ask him to go slow and relax. But please make sure you truly love and that he truly loves you!!

And, again, a few words about birth conrol and the odds of pregnancy - and the obsessive/compulsive thinking about stalking and STDs?

This is not a question purely about sex.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nicole147

Thank you it really does help me and 1 more thing umm I'm scared to show my body to my boyfriend most of my friends think he is going to purpose but I'm just thinking its going to hurt real bad i mete bleed any tips please!! And thank you so much :))

Not being rude, I swear I'm not.
You sound a lot younger than 19. Not a bad thing at all, just observing the way you speak. Even if you are 19, or 15, or even 24, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not having sex and saving yourself. You said your friends think he is going to propose (at least I think that's what you meant). If that's the case, he must love you and should be willing to wait, which is what it sounds like deep down you want to do. It is scary to be intimate with someone the first time, but since you're a virgin still it's even more so. That being said, your fear of being taped is odd! STDs are something to be scared of for sure, so no matter who you decide to be with, get tested first. Good luck.