Hi, I am doing my MASTER in business-administration.

My problem is big. It starts 6 years back. My beloved left me and I destroyed myself over these 6 years with alcohol, a smart look to fatty guy. Now 1 year back I realized and tried to get back. Got admission into MBA. Its been 5 months.

I closed my heart completely and never thought of loving someone else or even thinking about love. But a girl came into my life. She moved with me all time. Her characteristics reminds me of my past love.

I tried to move away but we are class mates and slowly I fell for her. The worst thing is this time I think I love this girl more than my ex-love. She some how came to know and started avoiding me, its been two months. She will talk only for her work else she don't care whether I am dead or alive, but I keep on wasting time thinking about her all the time. I just could not bear her avoiding me. I will be sending messages and in return I get nothing. Lst two days back I sent her a message saying it hurts so badly that she avoids me and if I am irritating. I would not come close to her.

Response was... as you wish but next day she came and sit with me pretty close and smiled all the time for nothing... I thought she understood and was happy, but the next day again she keeps on avoiding me. We are class mates there is no way I can't avoid seeing her. Just get me out of this pain. I need some suggestion. I wanted to be more focused in life, and achieve targets. I am holding my tears off while writing this.

Some one plzzzzzzzzzz help me.

You sound like what I call an 'all or nothing' person. You fall for someone like a ton of bricks, and suffer horribly. The way you got to know this woman seems a little strange to me. She 'some how came to know' how you feel? What does that mean? Falling in love isn't one sided; you do little give and takes back and forth as you sense each other's feelings.
But all of a sudden you are sending her messages saying it 'hurts so badly that she avoids me and if I am irritating I would not come close to her? ' WHOA, stop. That's a huge leap into a pretty deep part of a relationship, and is almost creepy. You should have been on a few dates before you even think about talking like that, walking, talking, having tea or lunch.
She might be teasing you at this point, smiling near you. Maybe she actually is intrigued, I don't know. But if you don't fill in the gap you left out, the gap of all those little steps you take to start a close relationship, the ones where you say 'May I walk you to the library' or 'Would you like to go the this little lunch place I know of' then your one sided love is all your fault. Good luck.

Congratulations on getting off the alcohol. I'm glad to hear you are going for your Masters. I have 2 Bachelors, and 1 Master's degree. PLEASE get over this girl. The other answer said you might be falling too fast for someone. I agree.
You might consider talking with a counselor at college, or they might suggest someone to talk with. At any rate, please look around and make some new friends. You don't need this kind of treatment. You have to finish your Masters. then think about having a girlfriend. You need someone who will respect you, and love you back. Good luck and best wishes.

I'm sure that you left quite a bit out of your story. I read it twice and I know you left stuff out.

My guess is that you're creeping her out. You probably moved on her too fast and with unwanted moves, comments, actions... whatever... but now it is too much for her and she feels creeped out or even threatened by you. You need to back off.

You also should seek some kind of counseling so you can get over this kind of behavior.

Just as you realize that your reaction to being dumped was a lousy idea, you must again realize that this rejection by a classmate as hurtful as it is, accept it and keep focusing on your own life, career, and goals.

Sure it feels bad right now, but doing something stupid because you feel bad, will not make you feel better. It didn't work before. Look at what you have accomplished and feel good about that, and there is no shame in fallling for someone that doesn't feel the same.

After a good cry fom dissapointment, then get back into accomplishing your goals. Then it will get better, and you will love again.

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Originally Posted by odinn7

I'm sure that you left quite a bit out of your story. I read it twice and I know you left stuff out.

My guess is that you're creeping her out. You probably moved on her too fast and with unwanted moves, comments, actions....whatever....but now it is too much for her and she feels creeped out or even threatened by you. You need to back off.

You also should seek some kind of counseling so you can get over this kind of behavior.

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The only thing I left out was we were a group and an a***le in our group started racial discrimination on me and I stood against him, we had a fight not a wrist one but verbal.then after I just don't know things were not the same... this happened 2 months ago... she somehow came to know I love her at the same time I guess... you know I've never said I love her to common friends but my happiness and excitement when she was around me or my extra caring of helping her through assignments and giving gifts , giving treats for nothing for all the group so that I can see her during holidays... all these might have shown her I love you or the a******le whom I had fight might had told her something wrong about me... many a times I used to tell her to increase her academic performance... she was not doing good... am I doing wrong I don't know... these days I am thinking hours together about her even in classes and wasting productive time... lot of assignments are pending... I started hating myself and irritated by myself... I don't know I am weird, I think I don't fit to live in this society cause if I love something I take it too much to heart and result is I will never get it... tell me how shall I get back, what steps should I do to get her out of mind... awaiting your answer

You do what we all have done when suffering from unrequited love - we keep busy. It hurts, it's awful, it seems like it will last forever. For pity's sake, you never thought you would get over your last love, and then fell in love again. You will love again. Love almost always has some pain.
PLEASE, in the future, don't give women gifts and vast amounts of attention without following the little tiny steps of reciprocated feelings. You will just repeat your mistakes over and over - falling deeply in love while failing to be friends FIRST, with those little sparkly moments that are clues that someone likes you back, and that friendship is growing into romance, and romance into love.