We've been dating for a few years now and at first we had sex daily. But now it's once a month maybe. He's going into the army in 3 months and he always says he has work in the morning he can't have sex. We live together and have for a while. But he had sex with his girlfriends before me all the time... Why won't he have sex with me ? :( I'm tired of crying after he goes to sleep like now it's 11:33 and he went to sleep an hour ago. He's 23 and I'm 19 :(

Sorry to say this he may have someone else , men are driven by sex gl

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Originally Posted by jazzas

Sorry to say this he may have someone else , men are driven by sex gl

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That's BS. There may be another issue at work here. To simply state that all men are driven by sex and then imply that he has to be getting it somewhere else if he is not with her... it's just wrong.


To the OP... have you sat him down and talked to him about this and how it hurts you?

Maybe you should look at other aspects of this relationship, other than the lack of sex. Clearly there are other issues to address. I think you are missing something much bigger.

What do you think I'm missing ? Besides my boyfriend going into the army and I don't get to spend 8 months with my love.

What lead to his decision to join the army?
What kind of career path is he on?
What kind of job does he have?
How are finance?
Do you work?
Have kids?
Talked of the future?
Are either of you in school?

These and many more things can be stressful and distracting.

I'm in school. We have no kids. We want to get married. He's wanted to be in the army since he was 16. I just helped him get there. So no that's not the stress

How do you pay the bills and how have you helped him get in he army? Where does he work?

"Sorry to say this he may have someone else , men are driven by sex gl"

This is a very insulting generalization.

Chance, Tal, has asked a lot of good questions. I have a couple of my own.

What is his average day like? What preparations is he making for the time he is gone? How are friends and family supporting him in his decision?

You may not be feeling the stress, but he may.

Other than sexual contact, do you share other forms of intimacy and shows of affection? How do you spend your time together? Do you spend time apart from each other doing your own things? You both should have time to yourselves to let built up stress and pressure go.

When the slow down started, how did you react? Did you ease up or did you try even more to arouse him?