Hi everyone,

I've been dating a guy for almost 3 months. Everything has been great from the moment we met and started dating and we have been spending every moment we can together since. Its quite bizarre how fast things have become - almost like we've known each other before. We act like a couple in every way however he hasn't stated our status... i.e... girlfriend : ) He has jokingly teased and danced around the subject as have I. We both will laugh and smile but nothing goes further as far as the conversation as that.

I would like to be exclusive with him but I don't feel that I should bring it up. Call me old fashioned. I've been thinking lately and was going to give it till the end of this month for him to get it together and if he doesn't then Ill bring it up and just say (in a light hearted fashion) that although I love spending time with him and would like to further the relationship I cannot without knowing what he wants therefor will have to slow down. Is this a reasonable approach? Why do guy do this?

Thanks,
Gk

Old fashioned?
Just ask him what he means by old-fashioned. What is his definition of modern-fashioned? Does he want you to wear jeans? Does he want you to have a haircut, straightened hair or what? What does he want? You must talk to him, before making some assumption.

It's 2013. We women have equal rights now. Bring it up.

Sorry I wasn't clear. I meant that I AM old fashioned since I want him to bring up the status of what we are first. I guess I am associating this with how much does he really want me - cause if he did then he would be making the commitment.

Regardless, in a few weeks Ill still bring it up. Just want some advice why and how :)

Thanks all.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by goodkarma_1

sorry I wasn't clear. I meant that I AM old fashioned since I want him to bring up the status of what we are first. I guess I am associating this with how much does he really want me - cause if he did then he would be making the commitment.

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Maybe he isn't old fashioned and is hoping you will bring it up because he is hoping you want him in your life (but is afraid to say anything). ;)

Just ask him if he wants to be in a relationship with you ! =D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jiser

Just ask him if he wants to be in a relationship with you ! =D

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Yes, will give it some time but ill def ask soon :) thanks :)

I thinks its more than reasonable for a couple to express what they want after 3 months of dating and start to see how they want to proceed. You want to be exclusive and that's fair and fine as long as there hasn't been sex involved because most guys wouldn't want that much of a commitment after they have done the wild thing with you.

That's just me though, a guy who doesn't make promises just to get exclusive sex. Start now with expressing what you want though, because no matter what fun you are having, being honest can save you time, trouble, and baggage later. Old fashioned or not. Good luck slowing down the roller coaster you have already jumped on. It already been loaded and left the gate.

Nobody goes from hot and heavy to taking it slow without consequences and conflict. Just saying because I doubt you guys are teen agers, yes I have read your other posts.

Hello, Ive been dating a guy for three months now and I have a question on how to deal with my situation. There was instant chemistry from both sides and things moves pretty quickly from the start. I've seen him before through mutual friends and have always been interested. He says he felt the same. We have been inseparable from the start - spending weekends together, the holidays, meeting each others friends and such and we've grown pretty comfortable together. I've been so happy, the happiest I've been in awhile. I am ready for a deeper relationship with this man however he hasn't brought up exclusivity. He's asked a month or so into it, if Im dating anyone else and I said no and he says no. I know I should be satisfied if we are always spending time, making future plans, and not worry about "the talk" but I am not settled. My heart tells me that he is into it but keeping his options open perhaps. He is a ladies man and has has many relationships and this bothers me as I feel he's still linked to his exes. One in particular. There has been an incident (kind of early on in the relationship) where he received a late night call from his ex, he told me who it was and that he made it clear that he was dating someone else. This irked me but I kept my cool. Now I know I shouldn't have done this... but I researched her on fb and there are still a couple of pics of them on her profile. She looks similar to me which is weird too - yes this bother me, I mean it makes me feel like a fill-in! So now I am second guessing all of this and I know if I check out of something I become distant and coldish. I don't want to push him away but I can't be naïve again. How do I deal with this? I want to ask him what he wants out of us but I have in the past subtly and he hasn't spoken of it since therefore I feel I'd be pushing the issue once again. I'm thinking of hanging in there and if there is another "incident" then I'll bring it up right then and there and just say how I feel and that I don't deserve it if he has unresolved matters with his past so its best we move on. Is this a good idea? How should I go confront this? I;m having a hard time keeping my cool without him suspecting anything is wrong :|

You have only been seeing each other 3 months, but if you are having a sexual relationship you need to know if it is exclusive. You should know that, and you should ask him.
If you are having sex with someone you can't talk to, that is not good.

I know your absoulutly right and we are intimate. I don't feel he is having sex with anyone else for the reason that we are together most the time but that doesn't count out the fact that it's a uncomfortable discussion. I know this isn't a good start how I'm starting to feel, its just confusing when a person acts like they are committed by spending time yet they don't say anything and just 'go with it'. If he didn't (and this goes for me) want to me around I would think he would distance himself more - which is why I'm confused : (
Thanks for your thoughts.

Then you need to speak up and find out where the relationship stands. If it's going nowhere, the longer you stay without saying anything the harder it will be.
If he is cool with getting what he's getting from you without having to make any kind of commitment to you, why would he say something?
You need to know where you stand, you need to say something. A closed mouth does not get fed.

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Why should he buy the cow when the milk is free? Now you want more, and he is happy as is. You better speak up, and if all he wants is free milk, then you better back of. Speak up so at least you know instead of assuming, wishing,and hoping.

All right. Thanks. I know what I need to do its finding the right time is how I feel. I just need to be in the right state where Im not sad or upset rather more straight up and relaxed about it. And more importantly prepared for his reaction or answer. Honestly, this is how I feel - I have been reluctant to bring this up because I feel I'll look vulernable and needy afterwards. Is this crazy to think this? I know its crazier NOT saying anything :| Thanks for the advice. I'm just trying to analyze before I make a move. Apologies if I'm sounding redundant on this thread.