My boyfriend and I went on a few months break because of distance. During that time, he was steadily hooking up with someone and I wasn't. It killed me to find out--I felt sad and betrayed, but thinking rationally, I knew he was allowed to, so I kept the friendship alive. Eventually, he admitted that he had only done it to try and get over me and said that it hadn't worked. We got back together and are now happily in a relationship. I was fine with it for a while, but recently I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I stalk pictures on Facebook and my ears perk up whenever I hear any mutual friends talk about her (I've never met her.) It's become almost an obsession. I crave new information, even knowing finding out will hurt me. I've talked to him about it and he knows how depressed I felt during our break. We should be in a happy relationship--how do I get this to stop bothering me?

It's going to take time to trust him again. He needs to prove that he is trustworthy, and you need to stop obsessing over it. Ask him every question you want answered, then move on.

You will get over it if you stop the stalking out of control behavior and just be cool and thoughtful about YOUR own action, and NOT the action of the past.

Thanks. I guess categorizing it as an obsession was a little extreme, I just think about it a lot. I guess it'l take time.

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Originally Posted by laurelreid

Thanks. I guess categorizing it as an obsession was a little extreme, I just think about it a lot. I guess it'l take time.

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You said you stalk pictures on Facebook. I'd consider it an obsession.

A good relationship must have honesty, trust, respect, and a willingness to talk about anything. If you can't forget the past, then you probably will not have much of a future, for awhile anyway. Try forgetting it, meet some new people, talk with others. Keep your relationship if you want, but please don't ruin today, by thinking constantly of yesterday. I wish you the best, and Happy NEw Year.