I am in a new position with an administrative assistant who fits into the highly educated, under experienced category. I can sense a lot of tension from her as if she is questioning my every move although I have the same education level and many more years of experience behind me. I have even shared with her my experience of starting at an entry level position out of college and how I worked my way up and how she is in a great position/company to do the same thing. We have met on her career goals and are working on action plans to achieve them. I'm not much older than she is; I just finished my degree earlier and had an earlier start I guess so I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

The main way she seems to display this behavior is through email. Here are a few examples: I will shoot her an email to ask a quick question about something and instead of responding, she will say something like "well, what does the invoice say?" or "it is in xyz document; you received the same one I did". Or I may say, "Remind me, what was the decision on XYZ?" and she will respond with "As I told you,....". This "as I told you" is a huge pet peave of mine. I am not asking because I can't figure something out for myself; I am asking because I am looking for a quick answer so I can close something out and move on. I'm new to the company and I have a full plate as I'm trying to learn my job, the culture, etc. I've had plenty of past supervisors ask for something more than once or something that I know I have already told them, but I would NEVER tell them to look it up or that I already told them once! I have met with her before on this, but it's tough because an email can be difficult to interpret. She will say that it is my perception and basically,"it's not me, it's you". I have also had another manager approach me about her attitude.

So, I know this goes beyond email etiquette, but I thought that might be a start. Maybe there is some type of training I could conduct or send her through? I guess I have had good experience in the past where I have been able to tell my employees "don't do that" and it stops. This is not going to be so easy. I know I'm not the only one with an employee who does this so I'd love some feedback on how any of you may have handled this and some pointers on what I can do. Thank you!

Sounds like you got the job she had high hopes of getting herself.
Start dealing with her in person. The first time she displays the attitude (and there is no doubt in my mind that she is in the worst category of problem employees a supervisor can have- attitude) call her into your office (or wherever you can do it privately) and tell her what you expect from her. She has taken the position that you got the job and it is not her job to make it easy for you- but that is her job isn't it?
I don't know the office politics at your company. Before taking the next step you have to know you have the support of your supervisors. She could be some higher up's protege', I don't know but you have to.
After giving her an opportunity to comply, and counselling her each time she stumbles, take whatever disciplinary action your company policy specifies. Where I worked it was progressively more severe disciipline for each episode for the same basic problem (verbal reprimand, wriitten reprimand, days off w/o pay, then firing; but insubordination could go a lot quicker) and that is what you have in my opinion- insubordination.
I realize that there are many other factors to consider (such as can you make it on your own as a new employee without her) but the present situation you have described will not get better-only worse. Good luck.

I would have a meeting with her and document it as a formal reprimand and correction and be very clear with her, reiterating the problem and the specific change you are seeking for her to make. If you have an HR department and if you have a manager that you report to, they should be included in planning how to do this and you need to make sure you have their full support in addressing the problem. Show them examples of the exact behavior that you feel generates annoyance with you and the other manager who has complained.

If this were my employee my direction would be something like this:

"Julie, we have had this conversation before and nothing has improved. I understand you disagree with me but Jim (the other complaining manager) and I are in agreement and we are over-riding your objections. This is a formal reprimand and warning that this condescending, snippy and rude manner has to end. Whether it is intentional or not is immaterial - it is eroding the pleasant and positive rapport that could otherwise exist between all of us, and we want a mutually helpful, positive work atmosphere here where everyone is eager to be of assistance.

Specifically we expect the following moving forward:

- If a piece of information is requested from you by a manager and you are reasonably able to access it, provide the piece of information. When I or other managers request a piece of information it is not generally because we can't look it up ourselves or do not know how but because you are our administrative support and we are allocating the task to you for expedience.

- If someone asks you a question that you have answered for them before, simply answer the question again politely. If the person is subordinate to you or a peer, you are free to kindly and respectfully offer to show them how to access this information directly for themselves next time but you may not be snippy or rude. We are here to help each other.

- If you have a frustration with someone, including us, you are welcome to set up an appointment to discuss the matter with us and we will help you. However, the objective must be to make relationships in the office work - not to point out how incompetent, lazy or annoying someone is to you. If your time is being abused, we will address it together.

Please understand that you are in this role because you have a particular ability that is of tremendous value to me and to the company overall. As an expert in administration, you are very organized and very skilled at quickly organizing, accessing and retaining information for easy access. This is a very valuable attribute. It takes a lot of time and careful consideration, which is why it is a job inandof itself. It is not my job - I have different objectives in my work, and for that reason I am going to rely very heavily on you to keep track of details that I do not have time to keep as organized as you do. So, recognize that being asked for things multiple times and so on is, in large measure, a substantive reason your job is important, and you are the right person for the job.

I have reiterated this specifically in writing so there is no misunderstanding.

Please know also that we will not tolerate anyone speaking curtly, rudely or in a condescending manner to you, either. If you should have such a problem let me know so I can step in because we are raising the bar organization-wide on how we all treat one another. I think there has been a misunderstanding about why I ask for information you've already given me, or why people are offended when you explain how to find information instead of simply giving it to them. It is understood you are trying to help, but it is not the help required.

Do you have any questions?"

If it recommences, she will have to be reprimanded again or fired. Bad attitudes are contagious and this kind of nitpicky crap will erode morale quick as wildfire.

Thank you both so much. This is excellent information. "Nitpicky" is exactly the word that comes to mind. The hardest part is that when we are face to face, she does it with a smile and it takes me so off-guard that I don't have a quick response. I will need to work on that as well. I did meet with her before on this and I will definitely proceed with the examples I have and do it again. Thank you both for providing me some wonderful material to handle the situation. She actually did not pursue my position and it really came down to the fact that she was inexperienced. I believe her past supervisor had more of a friend approach and did not delegate much although she didn't seem to be pleased with my predecessor either. Thanks again!

The discussions about improving attitude and performance and any discipline need to be in person. The same kind of emails after the warning can actually be helpful in documenting the insubordination, if she is brave enough to put the same stuff in writing after the warning.