My boyfriend is 30 I am 19 . With my age and all I quite enjoy sex and my boyfriend does too but he looks up porn a lot a few times a day, anal, heavy set squirters- things I can't do and won't do. Its never bothered me with past relationships but he does it while I nap or go out for a while. Need some good advice so I can get over myself and continue our awesome relationship. Just need to know it isn't about me and possibly just a form of entertainment such as TV, etc.

The relationship works cause well, he acts younger and I'm mature for my age. Also we have the same mental bipolar-ness and negative huffy puffy attitudes but we also have the same funny good out look on life when we are doing great but we are together 24/7 & we fight constantly, some days really bad.

We seem to be able to control it a wee bit now that we are 6 months into it, but we both can't take it and very much want to work through it but bottom line I'm nutty and hard to handle but this guy wouldn't think twice about staying if I did the things he says and does so I don't know.

Need advice!

If he read fantasy novels instead, would that bother you? That's basically what he is doing, you know. None of what he sees is real. It is pure fantasy, total manufactured entertainment, like a sexy Star Wars. It has nothing to do with you.

That makes sense . I get a degrading feeling but also feel I shouldn't be so self centered

He could be on his Wii or XBox and "ignoring" you in the same way. Do you include him when you do your nails or wash your hair or put on your makeup -- when you are tending to your personal needs and wanting alone time to do things your way, or do you ask him to be involved with you then too?

It is not about you, he is doing it when you are not around

Bet treatment for biopolar, and attitude issues. Get counseling on dealing with each other.

Like everyone said... its not about you, so don't try to make it about you.

Guys are visual... so your 50 shades of gray books, your romance novels, soap operas and chick flicks are the same to the female mind which isn't visual. Those stimulate a woman's mind in the very same way guy porn does a mans mind.

Merged Threads

cnofear, I know your threads may seem like separate questions, but I merged them because both deal with your relationship and more more importantly your mental health and outlook.

Are you currently getting any professional help such as counseling or medications? Is he?

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Merged Threads

cnofear, I know your threads may seem like separate questions, but I merged them because both deal with your relationship and more more importantly your mental health and outlook.

Are you currently getting any professional help such as counseling or medications? Is he?

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I'm currently tryn to get on medications been on many different combinations through out the years and got discouraged but he's encouraged me to get back on

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cnofear

I will be 20 in June and he'll be 30 this month just changed it a bit. I'm currently tryn to get on medications been on many different combinations thru out the years and got discouraged but he's encouraged me to get back on

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Yes, be sure to go back on a med that works for you. It will smooth out all the wrinkles.

I hope you BOTH get the meds and care for your conditions as its difficult enough for people to adjust to each other in 6 months, when there are other issues to be dealt with. You both probably have habits that are annoying to each other at times and coping is tough when you add some personal issues and have never dealt with these situations before.

Start with not taking what he does on HIS time personally or being about you. Its not, its all about him, and most guys see porn like they do cartoons or sports on TV. When you make things about you, its probably more to do with what you feel about yourself.

Only you can address that properly.