Hi

I'm really confused. Me and my best friend were both 16, and we used to be like really close. We've slept in the same bed several times, and we used to lie very close, which was really nice. We felt very safe with each other, and we've never had a problem being close to each other physically. Then this weird thing happened.

We were on a vacation together with her parents, and it was a really nice week. The last night we fell asleep with our faces turned against each other. I fell a sleep for a short time, and when I woke up again our faces were very close, so our noses touched each other. I put an arm around her back, and she put an arm around me, so we were like hugging. When we did that, our faces came closer, and our mouths touched, which wasn't planned - we just happened to end up in that position! None of us moved, 'cause we felt perfectly safe with each other. We lay like that for quite a long time, and none of us moved at all. But then we slowly started kissing. I have no idea, who started, it just happened. I guess it lasted for about 1 minute, and then we stopped. We didn't move for a while, but then she let go of me very fast, and so did I - like we woke up from a trance. She said "What the happened!", but I didn't answer. We didn't say more, and we fell asleep in each side of the bed.

Everything was reeeally awkward the next day, when we had to go home... It took some time to get over the awkwardness, but we're still best friends, and we are almost as close as before - at least emotionally... We can talk about anything, and we really trust each other, but we're not as close physically as we were before. I get a hug, when I see her, and when we say goodbye to each other, but apart from that we never touch each other. I really miss the closeness, but I can feel that if I approach her, she seems repellent - if I for example sit in a couch beside her, she moves further away from me or finds another seat.

We never talked about the kiss, but I really feel bad that she is uncomfortable being close to me, and I just don't know how to talk to her about it. I'm very afraid to lose my very best friend.

It is common for young people, especially close friends, to find themselves in this situation. Tell her you were told this online and ask if you can be OK next to each other again, hugging and whatever friend kind of closeness you have always had. If she isn't sure, just say OK.

There's a vast gray area between friend touching and lover touching, and it's only in very recent modern times that there is so much anxiety about it meaning anything.

You can talk about it, or let it goas a sign that you both have been changed and its no longer as physical a relationship. Maybe she isn't gay, but thinks you are. Friends would talk and clear the air I think.