I caught my fiancé asking his friends for another girls number and found a text too. This happened on New Years Eve whilst spending time with his family. We have been together for nearly three years and are due to get married in ten months. We've had a bit of a rough patch lately nothing out of context just general money problems getting a bit stressful but things were back to normal and we were good.

He knows I've been hurt in the past by betrayal and I found the relationship difficult to begin with but I can honestly say he's the only man I've ever trusted. He says its because he was drunk and he's sorry but I've lost all the trust I had and am devastated. I really don't know what I should do. He's had no contact with her but I caught him before that could happen and now I'm full of what ifs?

I also have a little boy who is 7 and loves him so much and would be heart broken if we split up. I need help please. Do I take it that he's a liar and end things now or do I try to forget about it and save what we have?

The seven year old will get over him... Assuming he is not the father.

If it were me, I would end it.

Listen, I have had too much to drink in the past, and I never did things to hurt my partner.

What makes you give that advice please? Ifeel that is probably what I should do but I love hiM so much and a part of me can't bare to lose that over a text. Its so difficult to get my head around the fact that he lied to me more than anything and that all my trust has gone. Is this something worth working at and saving or is this something that is impossible?

"Listen, I have had too much to drink in the past, and I never did things to hurt my partner." - Enough said and I agree.

You are due to get married and he is not only checking out other women, he is attempting to start communication with these other woman. Where there's smoke there's fire... You may not want to end it but the trust won't be there. And honestly was he drunk or was that a quick solution to get out of trouble?

That's it I mean I would never do it because I simply would not want to lose what we have. He's not a bad person or even the typical man that would do this its so out of character I can't even begin to understand why but I can't help feeling like this might have been avoided if there wasn't a lack of communication between us. He asked me to marry him last xmas time and he's booked venue and everything Could this just be him getting scared and acting like a jack the lad to his friends?

No. People get married all of the time and many people are nervous about it.

It doesn't mean that people behave that way due to having "cold feet".

Ultimately the choice is yours. Only YOU are going to decide what is best for you.

If he is acting this way NOW, then what might happen if you two get married.

After all... we are the choices we make.

Good luck.

How do you know he has not done this before. You don't ask someone to hook you up with another person just because you are drunk. Marriage is hard enough without going into it with distrust in the mix.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

How do you know he has not done this before. You don't ask someone to hook you up with another person just because you are drunk. Marriage is hard enough without going into it with distrust in the mix.

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I was wondering if he had done it before as well. Behaviors are patterns with people so this may be a pattern.

Well I don't think he has if you asked 3 days ago id say no definitely not but now I just don't know?

Why don't you take a few days or a week to decide for yourself what you want to happen because of this as makig decisions hastily in the middle of an emotional upset may not be wise at all.

Let some dust settle and then you can make a decision based on facts and not just feelings with a calmer and cooler head.

I think that's what I need to do its very raw at the moment as it was only two days ago. Thanks all any more advice would be appreciated as I'm so confused so anything has to help

This is a time to pay attention and observe what he does and says with a clear head. You really do nothing until your confusion is GONE and you know what YOU want.

He's saying he loves me and he doesn't know why he did it but iT just seems like thers no passion to it. How do I get through tO him how much this HuRts is it even worth trying? He thinks I'm over reacting as nothing actually happened

Take some time away from him. Friends can give you a comforting shoulder and support.

Thanks That's what I need to do. I don't WAnt him to leaVe buT I need to be able to think clearly And I can't do that with him Here hopefully things wilL work out in the end who knows?