Ask Me Help Desk - My friend is dating a guy way to old for her

Ok, my friend is 14. She is dating a junior this year, she is a freshman. Anyway, this is her 4th b/f, 2nd real b/f, and within a week of going out he is grabbing her on her... backside. I am worried, I think she is either afraid of making him angry (he is a 3rd degree black belt), or she actually likes it. Either way it is bad. What should I do? I have tried sitting down with her and talking about it, and she says she will slow down, but she doesn't and sometimes she actually speeds up. Btw, he is amazingly immature... He makes farting noises with his hands for fun... and she denies he is immature. I know she is just trying to be a good g/f, but she is losing her best friend that she has had since 1st grade and I don't want them to end that over a guy.

This is a bad situation to be in, but if you are a true friend you will have to stick with her through her mistakes. You have done your part by explaining the negatives of the situation to her. You must stick with her. You don't have to pretend to like the guy, but respect him because she is with him. She is your girl so have her back. In the end even if it is a I told you so situation don't say it. Just help her over the hurt. Please rate this answer.

Well, she has already had the cops come up and tap on the window of his van when they went "stargazing". It is not so much who she is dating, it is what she is doing. Plus, I have to talk to the guy anyway, whether if they were going out... he is my captain in marching band... yes I am a band geek... not afraid to admit it. And it isn't just me, I have talked to her friends and they are afraid also. But they are to scared to talk to her about it, so I feel I am obligated. I would rather her be safe than raped or hurt. I don't think this guy will go that far, but you never know. Btw, she is hot, and he has never had a g/f if that paints you a mental picture. He just is moving waaaay to fast. I am going to talk to him if it doesn't get better soon. She will be pissed at me, but I want to protect her. Her mom doesn't care either... She is oblivious.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parajr

This is a bad situation to be in, but if you are a true friend you will have to stick with her through her mistakes. You have done your part by explaining the negatives of the situation to her. You must stick with her. You don't have to pretend to like the guy, but respect him because she is with him. She is your girl so have her back. In the end even if it is a I told you so situation don't say it. Just help her over the hurt. Please rate this answer.

Very good answer. That is exactly what i would do.

First of all, why aren't you with her? It is apparent that you are in love with her... correct? My guess is that you are; however, she just wants to be friends... best friends even. If that is the case, you have to take the stand point of the best friend and not cross the line. Look out for her, give her advice, be there for her when she needs you... but you cannot control her life. She is going to do what she wants to do. Hes a junior and she's a freshman? So what? That was pretty common when I was in school. It sounds like you are too involved in her dating life and Im willing to bet its because that is where YOU want to be.

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnny201020

Ok, my friend is 14. She is dating a junior this year, she is a freshman. Anyway, this is her 4th b/f, 2nd real b/f, and within a week of going out he is grabbing her on her... backside. I am worried, i think she is either afraid of making him angry (he is a 3rd degree black belt), or she actually likes it. Either way it is bad. What should i do? i have tried sitting down with her and talking about it, and she says she will slow down, but she doesn't and sometimes she actually speeds up. Btw, he is amazingly immature... He makes farting noises with his hands for fun... and she denies he is immature. I know she is just trying to be a good g/f, but she is losing her best friend that she has had since 1st grade and i dont want them to end that over a guy.

I wish you were my best friend lol I never had a male best friend ever. :)

She's too young to be having sex. That's why there is so much teen pregnancy, we have at least 9 forms of birth control, and people are still getting pregnant? He's probably already having sex with her and Im sure she wants him to anyway.

Its kind of disgusting that kids have sex, I didn't even have sex till I was over 20. I KNOW what waiting is. My teen years involved no apple pies, of course, but my god, have a little patience people. Im sure you agree with this anyway. Lol

Some people are 13, 14, 15, 16 and they are in a rush? A rush for what? Old age? It should be appreciated for all that it is and more because it will never come again.. at least, not in that body anyway.