Ask Me Help Desk - Child support issue

I have a 16 year old son and was paying suppprt for him for years. 2009 the state where he in for some reason cancelled the support. Of course they didn't tell my why. Now in 2012 I have been served with CS again in the state I live in. What can I do. His mother hasn't had a steady job in years. But always have her hand out. I have a wife and kids I support now. I feel women use the system as a credit card and a reason to sit on their a%$ and do nothing for the child. Please advise (A father in need and desprate for advise)

Excuse me, but you fathered this child. You have an obligation to support this child. The original support order should have specified when the support would end. Probably at 18 or later if still in school.

In 2009 I assume you knew he had not reached 18. Did you check with the state as to why they stopped collecting? I suspect you were happy they stopped so didn't pursue. Now you are paying the price for that.

While there are many mothers who bleed the fathers dry, I don't know if this is the case here. Again, you had sex with this woman resulting in a child. You made the decision to have sex. Now you have to live up to your responsibilities.

You can go to court and fight it by saying that support stopped but you really don't have much of a choice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Excuse me, but you fathered this child. You have an obligation to support this child. The original support order should have specified when the support would end. Probably at 18 or later if still in school.

In 2009 I assume you knew he had not reached 18. Did you check with the state as to why they stopped collecting? I suspect you were happy they stopped so didn't pursue. Now you are paying the price for that.

While there are many mothers who bleed the fathers dry, I don't know if this is the case here. Again, you had sex with this woman resulting in a child. You made the decision to have sex. Now you have to live up to your responsibilities.

You can go to court and fight it by saying that support stopped but you really don't have much of a choice.

WOW scott you sound like those men who watch the "Maury" show and agree with all those women who say the men are the father. I never said I'm regret my son being born or don't shy away from my duties as a father. But being a parent is the duty of both parties. What I don't agree with is the mother doing nothing to support her child (WORK!). So scott it goes both ways sir why don't you sprend more time telling these moms to work out of the system and less time bad mouthing fathers who are trying to do the right thing.

You work out with the state a payment plan for all of the support due back to 2009,

You submit all of your earning papers so that the proper amount can be decided by the court.

There is nothing you can do, in fact you failed to continue and pay support after the issue in 2009, when you knew you should still be paying.

This is your child, as much as the child living in your home. I feel sorry for that child, since obviously you have never tried to be a father to them.
I wonder what the child living with you will think of you when the learn that a child has little value in your eyes, if they are not living in the house with you.

A father owes the money to the child and for the child, you are the worst example of a dead beat father tries to justify their actions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by gpolice1

WOW scott you sound like those men who watch the "Maury" show and agree with all those women who say the men are the father. I never said I'm regret my son being born or don't shy away from my duties as a father. But being a parent is the duty of both parties. What I don't agree with is the mother doing nothing to support her child (WORK!). So scott it goes both ways sir why don't you sprend more time telling these moms to work out of the system and less time bad mouthing fathers who are trying to do the right thing.

First, you apparently know nothing about me. If the mother had posted and said things to be criticized over, I might have done so. But you were the one who posted and all I have to gone on is what YOU said and my own experience.

I never said that you regret your son being born. But you were the one who indicated that you didn't pursue it when support stopped. That certainly sounded like you shied away from parental duties. The "right thing" to do is provide the support the courts ordered.

And where did you get the idea the idea that the mother is doing nothing to support the child. The child lives with the mother doesn't he? She provides all the care and nurturing doesn't she?

Yes it does go both ways. And it is certainly a possibility that the mother is abusing the system, but we have only what you posted to work with. And what leaped out at me was this statement; "2009 the state where he in for some reason cancelled the support." That says to me that you didn't pursue the issue but were just glad that support stopped. I asked if you had checked and you ignored that question.

It is certainly a possibility that I am wrong here. But the way to prove me wrong is to show me what you did when the support garnishment stopped. Everything you have said complains about what is being done to you, the shortcomings of the mother. You don't deal with your responsibilities. So again I have to deal with the info given to me.

Who paid to feed, clothe and put a roof over the child's head between 2009 (when support stopped) and now?

This also opens up the question of why a man with a child and responsibilities to that child goes on to have additional children and then complains about not being able to support family #2.

Of course the exception would be if the child being discussed was conceived when the father was married and had other children.

And no one here is any harder on men that they are on women. Support goes in both directions. Maybe the mother should get a j-o-b. Maybe the father should not have any more children.

Was the mother financially irresponsible when "you" were having sex with her?