Been married for 25 years, two kids and for the last five years or more she has slowed way down on making love with me. There are time a month or two go by with no sex. I tell her repeatedly she can have anything from me she wants at any time all she has to do is give me a look or slight touch ( after all I am not a mind reader).. . Still nothing. . Getting tired of always having to initiate... tired of being turned down so often and tired of having to do all the work with no result.

The lack of love making is hard to handle and I am angry and frustrated.. . I workout with her I am willing to do anything for her and am willing to give her whatever she wants when ever she wants it... We have some money frustrations but we are handling it... I think she has confidence issues and other phsycological issues but if I bring that up I am SATAN.. .

Any guidance would be appreciated.. .

Aside from talking about sex, have you tried talking to her?

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Aside from talking about sex, have you tried talking to her?

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Agree with U.

We are married 25 yrs officially next sept... so we do talk all the time about everything, politics, world events, religion the weather etc.. . But when you say have I tried talking to her what specifically do you mean

Talk to her about how she feels, about what you can do to make things better for her. Maybe take her on dates without the expectation of sex. Let her talk about herself.
I don't know how old she is but she could be approaching menopause and her libido has decreased.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Talk to her about how she feels, about what you can do to make things better for her. Maybe take her on dates without the expectation of sex. Let her talk about herself.
I don't know how old she is but she could be approaching menopause and her libido has decreased.

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She is 48 and I am 49.. . I think it might be starting.

Well this could be a big reason she is not interested in sex. You need to talk to her. Find out what is going on with her. Take her out on dates, court her. Let her know you love her and you miss being with her.
If her libido is decreased the last thing she needs to hear is your nagging her about sex. Giving her things is not going to make her want you if there is a physical problem.

I just set up a linch date with her and will be taking her out in 45 minutes... I am trying and willing to try anyhting

I am not and do not want sex now I want to talk and relax with her so I hope she feels that as well. The talking will be relaxed and casual and see where it goes, no stress or pressure.

One week before "SANDY" hit us we had a fire in the house and we just this week got back into our house all finished and fixed so I kow there is stress and pressure I understand all that but still its been way too long wioth out intimacy for us both.

Just take it slow and enjoy the lunch with her. Tell her you love her and really miss the "us" of the relationship.
I hope it all works out for you.

Kids are a stress and a distraction for anyone. How old are yours?

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Just take it slow and enjoy the lunch with her. Tell her you love her and really miss the "us" of the relationship.
I hope it all works out for you.

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I did do that and it seems to work, just have to be persistent with that sort of thing our kids are 18 and 15 and they are girls.. . So there is a bit of stress from their activity but I think it has ben the fire and the hurricane Sandy.. . Sometimes it is hard to pull out tha passion once you have stored it so far away.

If she hasn't had her testosterone level checked lately, she should. That can be an issue.

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Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

If she hasn't had her testosterone level checked lately, she should. That can be an issue.

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Thanks Jenny I will mention that when the time is right... it can be a sensitive subject to suggest something is wrong with her... she can get defensive. But it is a great suggestion. Thanks

Have you been on her before about something being wrong with her? There seems to be stress an a lot going on. Keep up the good work. Does she work outside of the home?

Homegirl... life is better.. . She recognizes the issue and we talked about it. I will be changing our diet to better facilitate romance as well as other things we are out of the woods but we still have a long way to go... thanks

That is wonderful news. I wish you both much happiness.