Hi I'm 16 years old and a fourth year high school student. Every time my teacher calls me to recite or when I speak in front of the class I always got this nervous feeling. I'm always shy even in a group of many people. I'm afraid of making mistakes and to be embarrassed. Can someone help me how to gain my self-confidence? How can I develop it?

Shyness doesn't have to be debilitating. Many famous performers throw up before they go on stage, or absolutely freeze if they have to go on the talk show circuit. And it's not a negative trait either - I think shy people are in many ways nicer than outgoing people. I'm saying this hopefully to start a base for you to work from; that it just isn't so horrible.
My father almost didn't finish high school in 1935 because he couldn't pass a required public speaking course, despite acceptance by MIT (MIT made him take another year of high school at a private school because he was too young). He remained sort of shy his whole life, but everyone loved him.
So tell us - just how much is this ruining your life, or do you just feel that you have to be one of the gregarious types that tend to be popular in high school?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by joypulv

Shyness doesn't have to be debilitating. Many famous performers throw up before they go on stage, or absolutely freeze if they have to go on the talk show circuit. And it's not a negative trait either - I think shy people are in many ways nicer than outgoing people. I'm saying this hopefully to start a base for you to work from; that it just isn't so horrible.
My father almost didn't finish high school in 1935 because he couldn't pass a required public speaking course, despite acceptance by MIT (MIT made him take another year of high school at a private school because he was too young). He remained sort of shy his whole life, but everyone loved him.
So tell us - just how much is this ruining your life, or do you just feel that you have to be one of the gregarious types that tend to be popular in high school?

---

Hey, thank you for answering my question. I read it and it helps me a little bit. Oh, hmm... Yeah somehow it ruins my life because last year I was in top seven of the class. Now, I fall and I think I didn't made it to the top. I'm sad although but this is me now. I'n not being popular and I don't want to be either. I just want to be recognize who I am but I can't cause I'm shy. There's one thing you should know about me I'm an introvert person. Well, that's how I am. I am me.

The thing that helped me most for when I had to speak in front of the class or a group was when someone told me, "Remember, you are the expert. You have prepared for this and you know more about this than anyone else in the audience. Now it's time to bless them with this information and fill them in."

Next if talking in front of a large group, unless there is a written speech that everyone has a copy of, no one knows what you are going to say, you can go completely off the talk and no one knows.

My wife plays music and performs in front of small and large groups, well on many songs she makes small mistakes, but the people listening have no idea

When speaking, if you forget, just pause, it will seem longer to you than really is, but a pause in speaking is often done to draw attention, make it seem real.

Next don't look at the people you are talking to, look above their heads about 4 feet, it still looks like you are looking at them, but you are not.

At least you sound proud of who you are, despite wishing to be recognized for who you are. I am pretty sure that in college (if you continue on) that a lot of what is important to other people will change, and you will find people who share your areas of interest more than just those who are the life of the party, cool, popular, outgoing, all that stuff that teenagers crowd around. In college, you don't have to get up in front of the class. What do you think you might want to do for a career?