I met this guy(nick)and things were going really well, we're talking and laughing we were perfect, he was perfect. We were in love. But then he told me he had got diagnosed with cancer 3months ago and his family and I were the only ones who knew. The doctors had found the cancer too late and he knew he was going to die, but I didn't think it would be so sudden... I was talking to his cousin through twitter as I was away visiting family when I asked how nick was and he replied with '... didnt you hear..? ' And that was the moment I knew he had died and no one bothered to tell me until 3 days after I was angry at everyone, I stopped talking to people, eating, locked myself in my room at weekends. I couldn't get to the funeral but nicks other cousin came from italy to it, and he was trying to comfort me over twitter, but then he told me that he loved me... And I have a new boyfriend now who I love too but I can't stop thinking about nick... I was watching titanic last night and it kept reminded me of nick and what he would have done for me vis-versa. I really need help I don't know what to do..

You may have a tear or cry for 40 years at a certain song, or memory, I still do over Susan who has been gone well over 20 years.

The issue is that have you really move don and properly dealt with the grief.
Is the past upseting the new boyfriend and can you really love him properly ?

Perhaps counseling and then even couples counseling to deal with moving on to the future

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

You may have a tear or cry for 40 years at a certain song, or memory, I still do over Susan who has been gone well over 20 years.
The issue is that have you really move don and properly dealt with the grief.
is the past upseting the new boyfriend and can you really love him properly ?

Perhaps counseling and then even couples counseling to deal with moving on to the future

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I'm still a teenager... I don't exactly want to go to counselling and my current boyfriend doesn't know about nick or jj(his cousin) because it was a long distance thing I lived in one half of the country he lived at the other. I don't want to tell my current boyfriend and the one person I thought I could trust and tell everything to told everyone else so I can't talk to her anymore, the only person I can talk to is jj and he says he's in love with me which just makes even more harder...

I suspect that a lot of why you can't stop thinking about him is guilt over not being there when he died. You need to separate that from missing him. Guilt goes on and on, while sadness over losing someone heals.
Please don't be angry at people for not telling you - that is very selfish and self centered. They are family and have a right to think about themselves, especially when most of them didn't even know he was dying! I would apologize to all of them.
I would also not jump into new boyfriends right away. All that does is hurt you and hurt them because they are sort of second fiddle while you sort out your feelings.