Long story short. We live in Harnett County, NC. Yes we have insurance and no they won't help. We adopted a child 13yrs ago. She has had A LOT of serious behavioral issues. We have been in and out of therapy (outpatient and intensive in-home) for the last 9yrs. We have been asking for someone to help us get her into a group therapy setting or a therapeutic foster home for more than a year. Last Friday she tried to hurt herself. This is not the first time. She is currently in a mental health center and will be released on Dec. 26.

We cannot bring her home. Every year she is escalating! They say she isn't a danger to herself or others, but we have been hearing that for years! In the past she has killed small animals, tried to hurt herself, tried to hurt us, and even stepped on a 6mo old baby's head! So we told the hospital we will not be picking her up. We want her to get help. Now we are being told if we don't get her on the 26th, DSS will charge us with abandonment! We don't want to leave her but we have NO other options!

Can anyone PLEASE help us? Any advice? Anything? We love her but it is not safe for her or us if she comes home without some SERIOUS intervention! Please, Please someone help us!

It is a very tough call as to what you can do. If you receive formal charges for abandonment then your looking at a class I felony charge. That is pretty serious. The way the law actually reads may be open to a challenge. How much actual documentation do you have as far as the child is concerned and problems you have been having ?

Have the police been visiting your home?

We have over an inch thick stack of papers written by therapists, psycologists, psyciactric docs, school notifications, etc. My husband and I were police officers so we have managed to keep her out of the legal system.

Reading your post is eerie. Not even 2 hours ago I was watching a program with two parents pleading with the US government to take mental health issues more seriously. They decided to speak because of the recent school shooting.

Their story is similar to yours. Their daughter tried to poison someone at the age of 8. The parents took action, and the system failed them. Why? The child was 8, and she didn't actually kill anyone, she merely tried to.

These parents have been through many years of torment, trying to find help for their child. Numerous facilities, most of which blame them (the parents) until they get to know the daughter better. At that point they admit it's not a parental problem, it's just a problem they can't handle.

The latest diagnosis is that the daughter is a sociopath. The treatment, after this child has not only tried, and threatened to kill, is nothing. They're recommending that she live in a facility, basically an apartment, where she's responsible for herself. She'll be able to come and go as she pleases. Hey, if she kills someone, then they can do something. Until then, they know she has issues, but they can't do a thing about it.

I wish I had advice for you. I really do. But it seems that even when parents in the US try to access the resources available, they're turned away. Then, because their children are unstable, a danger, which no facility is willing to help with, or unable to help with. They're held accountable when they have to relinquish responsibility of this child, for their own safety, and that of the other members of the family.

I wish I had advice for you. Sadly, I don't. I don't think anyone does. Until the US takes mental health seriously, and provides resources for parents with mentally ill children, I don't see any options for parents like you. I do encourage you to document everything. Every appointment you've made, every person you've talked to, every treatment option, every little thing, no matter how unimportant it seems to you.

I wish you all the best.

I recommend you contact the Department of Children's Services in your area.

There are 3 main ways to get state custody called a "committal status" under which a child can be placed into the legal and physical custody of DCS.

1) Neglect or abuse;
2) Delinquient (this is when a child is referred to as a juvenile justice child who has been found by a court of law to have committed an offense which, if committed by an adult, would be considered a crime.; Or,
3) Unruly.

Numbers 2 and 3 seem to be appropriate for your situation.

Through DHS and the court system, under conditions such as this, it is possible to voluntarily terminate your parental rights placing the child in states' custody.

I would, hire an attorney to deal with the government agencies and try to get her taken by the state.