So, I will try to make this brief. My fiancée and I have been seeing each other for 6 years. We got engaged about a year ago. We broke up a couple of years ago for seven months, but got back together after neither of us had seen anyone else. Three weeks ago, she came to me and said that she wants a break. She is having serious family issues and her parents are fighitng a lot and she didn't want to end up like them. We have also been fighting a decent amount over the last year or so. She told me that she thinks that we missed out on things like making out with other people and doing stupid things. That we just got too serious too young and that we should have met later in life. She also told me that she wanted to date other people the first time that be broke up but didn't because she knew I would never talk to her again. She then said that she probably wouldn't this time for the same reason.

She admitted to me that she had been flirting with a guy at work but that it was harmless. This guy lives with his girlfriend. I went round and round with her for a week trying to win her back to no avail. She even made comments to me like, "I am going to take the engagement ring off, but am going to wear another ring on this finger because it shouldn't be naked. I am still connected to someone." and made other comments about getting back together.

Then, last week I was at the house and her email account was still logged in. There was an email from a guy saying that "I can't wait until next friday, I am not going to be able to keep my hands off of you." I know this is the same guy from work and confronted her about it but she denied it and said that it was a different guy that had asked her out and she had told him "probably not." She turned it around on me for reading her email. Does a guy send an email like that after being told probably not?

I have moved out and we have not talked in about a week. What the hell is going on? I just don't understand. I am a nice guy, with a future (I am in law school), and have always been 100% in love and faithful to her.

Sorry to be so blunt but it sounds like she has gone off you and wants to experience the single thing for a bit.

1) Maintain no contact
2) Concentrate on yourself
3) Get new hobbies
4) Join the gym
5) Spend time with friends and family
6) Holiday?
7) Do new and refreshing things
8) Get a new direction in your life and remember you don't need anyone to be happy. You must love yourself first

You deserve to know the truth. She may not completely know, or be facing, the truth. I think sometimes people inch toward cheating, all the time telling themselves they won't, and suddenly they "find themselves" way over the line.

Reading her private email is wrong. I don't go through my wife's email or check her phone. But then again, I trust my wife. Fundamentally, you aren't respecting her privacy.

BUT... SHE doesn't seem to be respecting you, period. I find it hard to believe shed get an email like that and not be involved with the guy. Most people don't say they're going to have their hands all over another before a first date, you know?

So... I think she likes the security of you, but she is 90% out the door. She's testing the water and trying to hide it from you.

As to why wouldn't she want you, being a nice guy with a future who treated her well? You are trying to find the reason it fell apart. Truth is, sometimes even great relationships can fall apart. Sometimes its bad timing. Sometimes its cause you were young. I think that's the case here.

Being engaged might have seemed like the next natural step, but it sounds like she's having second thoughts...

Being a guy who dated a girl 6 years through HS/college and was all but engaged... and whose relationship went through the same stuff you are going through... and I mean A LOT of the same stuff... I think she honestly needs to move on and explore other relationships. Sucks for you, at least for now. I have absolutely been where you are.

You just can't hold onto a relationship where you can't trust her. And I think you have no reason to trust her at this point. I know this is the last thing you want, but it IS always better to know reality than to be living a lie. Yes, it was wrong to read her email... the end doesn't justify the act completely... but I'm also glad you did. Now you know.

So unless she has some great explanation for the email... and again, the can't keep my hands off you stuff and the tone of the email makes it hard to believe it was just a guy coming on to her... time to start to step away from her emotionally. She's been inching away from you for some time now. Its going to be harder for you, but you need to do it. The longer you hold onto something like this the longer it keeps you from moving on to a better place.

Thanks for the input. I do know that I need to start letting go and realize that reconciliation would be near impossible at this point. Her friends keep telling me that she is going through a sort of quarter life crisis with her family situation and the whole what I want to do with my life thing. I know that she is now seeing a counselor and has been clinically depressed. This behavior is just so out of character for her that I can't help but wonder if it is a result of her being sick.

Well... its absolutely possible the stress in her life has something to do with it... and I am not one to say people should just walk away when things get tough.

But you also need to not lose sight of the fact that she is making choices, good or bad, and if those choices are not making you happy or not bettering your relationship, then its time to at least step back enough to try to see things more clearly.

Flirting is one thing. My wife flirts.

But the tone of the email and the can't keep my hands off you just seems like there is more going on than flirting.

Get your engagement ring back, and make sure you give her all the space she needs. No committed person plays those games, so she is not ready, and you should not wait. She wants you to wait for her to get back with you later when she is through checking out the waters. That's why she broke up so you can't say she is a cheater. I know 6 years and all you have to show for it is this BS?! Hard on the heat , but better now than after your married. Don't try to hold on to what you use to have because that is gone, instead move on with your life and get a real, mature female who doesn't play games and who will be HONEST with you. She isn't it.