Ask Me Help Desk - Adoption of my son

I have a 2 year old son and my husband wants to adopt him. It's a complicated situation and I know I will be judged but I'm going to be honest. The man I thought was my sons father had a dna test and it came out that he wasn't the only other man I slept with that year was an ex high school boyfriend after me and the original guy broke up. It was close but I never thought that he wasn't the dad. Anyway the original guy I thought was my sons father had his rights terminated but for whatever reason they kept him on the birth certificate and he never filed the DNA results with the court. With my sons Biological father I had gotten a hold of him soon after the court date where the other guy signed his rights over I told him about my son asked for a dna test and for child support and he said there was no way he was going to get the test because he already had 6 kids I didn't know about. He also was on his way to prision for drugs again didn't know about. Since then which was a year ago I have not been able to track him down through the state family nothing I don't know where he is except the state he may be in how do I go about getting my husband the adoption he wants? He is the only father my son has known the past 2 years and I know I put myself in this situation I know I slept with a looser I just need to know how for my son I can do what's best for him and let my military husband adopt him.

You need to find the guy who's name is on your sons birth certificate, he has already said he wants no responsibility, so he should terminate his rights... because lets be real he has none... when you do that you and your husband need to go to a law office and tell them of the situation and they will lead you in the right direction. And to be honest no one should judge you for this, you are and have done what you can to give your son what he deserves and that's what a mother should do, and your husband is a great man, its hard to find guys like that these days (one who's willing to take responsibility for another mans child) it seems like soon you and your family will be complete... keep moving in the right direction. And good luck, I'm sure you will realize this will become easier than you think.

Currently the man listed on the birth certificate is the legal father.
If you live in a state where paternity can be challenged: If the truth is withheld, his signing to allow the adoption will let it go though. There could be a challenge to the adoption in latter years, if there is an inheritance issue.

Legally, the real father is named, he is forced to do a DNA test by court order, and then he would be asked to sign over his rights.

BUT*** many states after a time, the paternity can not be challenged so the father listed on the birth certificate is the legal father, no matter if he is by DNA ornot

If there is a court order terminating the rights of the father named on the birth certificate then he is out of the picture. Even though the because wasn't amended the court order trumps it.

You need an attorney to make sure the adoption is done right. Your attorney will advise you what you need to do with respect to getting the adoption approved.

In your situation, I would suspect that alternative means of attempting to contact the bio father (newspaper ad, etc.) will probably be acceptable to the court.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopeful127;

... the original guy I thought was my sons father had his rights terminated but for whatever reason they kept him on the birth certificate ...

Stands to reason. Normally a BC is not changed unless the child is adopted or specifically you ask the vital statistics department to change it.

It is likely that your husband will be able to adopt your child. Contact an attorney to work out the details. As others have written in this thread, it may be that the man named on the BC is the one who will have to be notifiied of the adoption petition and may give his consent. Your attorney will be able to determine whether the other man must be named. If you cannot locate him, it's possilble that you could give him notification by publication.

Otherwise, your attorney might want to check with the corrections system in the state where he was last known to be. Because he told you he was on the way to prison, that would be a likely place to look. Or, if he was convicted on Federal charges, contact the Federal prison system.