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-   -   How can I tell if this guy likes me (gay) help (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=722398)

  • Dec 13, 2012, 07:27 AM
    Mine_Dudes
    How can I tell if this guy likes me (gay) help
    I'm in middle school and there is this guy who just happens to be my best friend... and he means everything to me. We have two classes together and we are always hanging out. I'm in love with him and I don't know if he feels the same way about me... I've been trying to read his signs and I'm getting mixed signals because he always smiles when he talks to me and he occasionally touches me on my back and on my cheek... he sometimes even plays with my hair when we are together in class. He always tells me that he loves me but he means it in like a brotherly way and when I say it back he smiles and blushes... he has never opened up himself to anyone other than me... he cries in front of me and I hug him and he is okay with it because he hugs me back and it usually lasts long (feels that way anyway) The thing is that recently I've been keeping my distance from him because I was hurting and I did not want him to but not realizing that I was hurting him by not being there and we started speaking again and now he is even more attached because he said that he did not want to lose a friend like me and it just makes more complicated to around him because I just feel like I want to jump at him and just tel him how I feel and kiss him and it hurts having to keep it all in... a lot

    Any help would be most appreciated and thank you in advance :)
  • Dec 13, 2012, 07:36 AM
    Oliver2011
    Wow that is a tough one. From my gay perspective:

    1) You have a really good friend and really good friends are hard to come by. You don't want to do anything that will jeopardize losing a really good friend.

    2) You are in middle school and middle school can be tough. If word got out that you were gay would your classmates accept you? Middle school kids can say a lot of hurtful things sometimes.

    3) You don't know if your friend is straight or gay. Here is something to think about: Your friend might not even know if he is straight or gay. Sometimes it takes a few years past middle school to find yourself. Even though you know you are gay, he might be struggling with it. So you can't expect him to know himself completely yet.

    4) I am guessing you are 12, 13, or 14. You have years ahead of you and there is no pressure to have a boyfriend right now. So enjoy the friendship and don't pressure yourself for more.

    That is just my take. Good luck with it!
  • Dec 13, 2012, 07:40 AM
    Mine_Dudes
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    Wow that is a tough one. From my gay perspective:

    1) You have a really good friend and really good friends are hard to come by. You don't want to do anything that will jeopardize losing a really good friend.

    2) You are in middle school and middle school can be tough. If word got out that you were gay would your classmates accept you? Middle school kids can say a lot of hurtful things sometimes.

    3) You don't know if your friend is straight or gay. Here is something to think about: Your friend might not even know if he is straight or gay. Sometimes it takes a few years past middle school to find yourself. Even though you know you are gay, he might be struggling with it. So you can't expect him to know himself completely yet.

    4) I am guessing you are 12, 13, or 14. You have years ahead of you and there is no pressure to have a boyfriend right now. So enjoy the friendship and don't pressure yourself for more.

    That is just my take. Good luck with it!!

    If I come out and tell him how I feel do you still think he would accept me and look past this if he wasn't gay/bi?
  • Dec 13, 2012, 07:47 AM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Mine_Dudes View Post
    if i come out and tell him how i feel do you still think he would accept me and look past this if he wasn't gay/bi?

    I can't answer that. You sound like you know your friend well enough to answer that. This is your decision to make. Are you prepared for the consequences if he doesn't accept you? Not everyone, especially teenagers, can accept gay people. When I was in middle and high school, I was out to no one. But that was a different time.

    However, if you aren't not prepared that coming out to him could mean the end of your friendship, then I would not say a word and just enjoy being awesome friends. You cannot blame him if it goes horribly wrong after you tell him.
  • Dec 13, 2012, 07:53 AM
    Mine_Dudes
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    I can't answer that. You sound like you know your friend well enough to answer that. This is your decision to make. Are you prepared for the consequences if he doesn't accept you? Not everyone, especially teenagers, can accept gay people. When I was in middle and high school, I was out to no one. But that was a different time.

    However, if you aren't not prepared that coming out to him could mean the end of your friendship, then I would not say a word and just enjoy being awesome friends. You cannot blame him if it goes horribly wrong after you tell him.

    Thanks so much for the help <3 :)
  • Dec 13, 2012, 07:54 AM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Mine_Dudes View Post
    Thanks soo much for the help <3 :)

    Anytime and I wish you the best.

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