I'm a 58 year old male living alone, no wife or girlfriend, no kids, no friends. I do work but just barely able to function. I guess I have some severe social anxiety. I've tried every drug and psychotherapy there is. None of them help. What do I do? The pain is unbearable.

If you could have one wish, what would it be?

To be normal

And what is your definition of normal?

Not suffering from anxiety, depression, and loneliness. To feel alive and have some peace and happiness. To have a reason to live and not feel empty inside.

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Originally Posted by Raiderman

Not suffering from anxiety, depression, and loneliness. To feel alive and have some peace and happiness. To have a reason to live and not feel empty inside.

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How many therapists have you seen? Have you taken any antidepressants or other meds? If so, for how long?

I'm not sure but just about every AD and maybe a half dozen therapist since I was 13. The only thing that helps a bit is Xanax and that's just to help me sleep.

Why didn't the therapist route work?

Did they give you tools to break out of your shyness and to feel better about yourself?

What is the longest you stuck with a therapist?

Ii've been seeing the current one for about 7 years. He's a nice guy but he hasn't told me anything I don't already know. I've read all the self help books too. Maybe yoga or meditation is the next step. That's about the only thing I haven't tried.

The therapist isn't supposed to tell you stuff. That's not how therapy works.

Seven years is five years too long. What are his credentials and how often do you see him for how long per session?

He's a psychologist. I see him an hour a week.

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Originally Posted by Raiderman

He's a psychologist. I see him an hour a week.

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Does he work with you to come up with practical things to do, challenges, to jumpstart getting back into life? Do you ever have homework?

He dies some of that. He encourages me to try Internet dating and things like that but no homework. He's more insight oriented than cognitive behavioral. I tried CBT years ago when I volunteered for a study combining Paxil with CBT. I didn't find it helpful.

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Originally Posted by Raiderman

He dies some of that. He encourages me to try Internet dating and things like that but no homework. He's more insight oriented than cognitive behavioral. I tried CBT years ago when I volunteered for a study combining Paxil with CBT. I didn't find it helpful.

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I've used it a lot with good success. Would you be willing to give it another try?

What didn't you like about it?

It wasn't that I didn't like it. I just didn't find it helpful. But I'm willing to try anything.

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Originally Posted by Raiderman

It wasn't that I didn't like it. I just didn't find it helpful. But I'm willing to try anything.

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Did you have to report back at the next session?

Tell me briefly what you do at work, how many people there are with you, and how long you've worked there.

No, there was no reporting back. They had some sessions where they simulated interviews and other situations. I'm a research analyst at a hospital and I've been there about one and a half years. There are about 25 people in my department. They are nice to me but I feel that I don't fully participate and mostly hide in my cubicle.

Do you hate any kind of changes in your life, even with how the grocery store is arranged?

Do you really prefer working or even being alone, that you are your own best company? And you can always find things to do?

Were you ever into playinng sports? Would you consider yourself clumsy sometimes?

Definitely fearful of change. Tried sports as a kid but was awkward and clumsy at it. I don't like being alone but just not comfortable ever, even by myself. My heart is always racing and always anxious even when there is no reason to be.