Have come to realise over these past few months that my sister has been saying unpleasant things behind my back. In fact she’s been doing this all my life without me knowing it. Can’t tell for sure about the past but I can be sure now because I’ve credible evidence of her writing and talking to my friends. Now my friends are starting to turn their back against me. This is getting intolerable. And I’m not taking it anymore! :mad:
My question is; now that I know she has been doing this to me (and to almost everyone close to her), and knowing the reason is that she is just insecure about almost everything about herself and despite the fact of what she has done, do I still have to talk to her? Should I confront her and the accomplice with evidence in hand? Warn her? Should I let her go on living her miserable life? Should I? What should I do?:confused:

I have two sisters, one of whom I haven't talked to for years. My sister used to tell people I was dead when we lived under my parents roof. In fact she did a lot of stupid things and my parents never did anything about so I just started ignoring her and have continued doing so as an adult. If you don't live in the same house just quit talking. Trust me it's depite what society says about things like this it's much better then putting up with miserable people in your life.

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Originally Posted by The Unfortunate

Have come to realise over these past few months that my sister has been saying unpleasant things behind my back. In fact she’s been doing this all my life without me knowing it. Can’t tell for sure about the past but I can be sure now because I’ve credible evidence of her writing and talking to my friends. Now my friends are starting to turn their back against me. This is getting intolerable. And I’m not taking it anymore!!:mad:
My question is; now that I know she has been doing this to me (and to almost everyone close to her), and knowing the reason is that she is just insecure about almost everything about herself and despite the fact of what she has done, do I still have to talk to her? Should I confront her and the accomplice with evidence in hand? Warn her? Should I let her go on living her miserable life? Should I? What should I do?:confused:

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She often has a sob story for almost all of her difficulties and on this most people who are unaware will take pity on her and believe every single word as if it were the truth even if the truth has been misconstrued. And in the end they all come to me hating me for how I've ruined her life. If she had the courage, intelligence and respect for herself and those around her and listen to what our mother and guardians has to say to her for her own betterment, I'm sure she'd be better off by now. But I guess that's just how she chooses to live her life. Now she doesn't even care about our mother – or anybody else for that matter. Problem is, she just couldn't give a damn! About?: well just about anybody. Maybe she has the luxury of using people for instruments in her act of vengeance against the world (for what she thinks they've done to her), maybe after all she has nothing to loose in this inconceivable mind game of hers. Which is fine by me and I'm not complaining about this because I think my mom is better of with me rather than have her there with my sister who -in between rages- often blames her of every hardship in her life. Giving our mother a hard time in the process. Because I am much younger and less experienced in life in general, what can I say to her? How can I make her feel better about herself without her blaming me for every little mistakes that I've made since growing up with her (or without her – she was not always around at home as far as I could remember)

You can't. Trust me - leave the situation. It's not your job to go to her and make things right after she's wronged you. That's absurd and it only strengthens her position and belief that what she is doing is right.

Leave this poor creature to her own misery. If others choose to believe her then that is their problem not yours. If you have a spare minute to yourself, say a prayer for her. Leave her alone.

<,Giving our mother a hard time in the process. Because I am much younger and less experienced in life in general, what can I say to her? How can I make her feel better about herself without her blaming me for every little mistakes that I've made since growing up with her (or without her – she was not always around at home as far as I could remember)>>

Just one thing... how many years difference are there in your ages?
Im guessing you grew up with more affection from your mother because you were younger and your sister got jealous and insecure of this... and as such this is her attitude not just with you but with other people in her life..

I have a friend like this and she told me that is the reason because her brother was the "favourite" of her mother.These people grow up seeking 'attention' from others.

My sister had a similar "problem" with me but we have gotten quite close recently.

<<I'm not complaining about this because I think my mom is better of with me rather than have her there with my sister who -in between rages- often blames her of every hardship in her life. Giving our mother a hard time in the process>>

Ah that was another clue there...
This is a deep problem from youth.

She is your sister! Confront her, ask her why she done this, and then ask her to stop! Sisters will not always get along, but at the end of the day you are still sisters! You love her or you wouldn't care, so tell her you do. People don't let each other know enough they are loved and sisters are the worst! Pray about it!

What hurts most is that I've only realize this now in my early twenties. We're four years apart by the way. It took me more than twenty years to figure this out? I've lost most relationships with good friends since high school and even up to recently where I've lost a good friend and my ex boyfriend due to all this talk of hers. All of this, I've just recently discovered. Now I'm afraid of making new friends terrified that based on her accusations they won't respect my views, me as a person, who I am and who I'm capable of being. And it's often too late till I've found out what she has been saying for me to salvage what is left of the relationship. I'll be able to mend a just few relationship with a few good friends but then again that will take time, trying to earn the trust which I've lost due to her cunning little acts. And thanks to the rumors she's been spreading to family and friends, she is where she is today. Unfinished college studies, never had a permanent job except with her husband business, supporting three little toddlers and a complicated relationship with her husband who is currently out of business.

It sounds like your sister has a lot of problems. She is probably not happy with her own life and wants you life to miserable like hers cause she is jealous for some reason!

She is your sister so TRY to be nice, although it maybe hard, but keep your distance for your own safety!

I'd confront her about it with evidence in hand. Tell her that you won't tolerate it and that you expect it to stop. That might do the trick. If it doesn't, then cut all ties with her.

Was very tempted to confront her and that back-stabbing friend of mine on this matter. Thinking if I could just talk in a polite and steady but firm manner, stating why all this unacceptable and how it hurts me so much. Or I could be very mean and tell them of how she used to be growing up and let the word go round and see how she feels about that! Then again, seeing what you guys have to write it's pretty obvious what I should do. Of course I have a few options of getting back at her but why do I want to disturb the natural cycle of life? As the saying goes; What goes around comes around. She will get what's coming to her, too bad it won't be from me cause by than, someone else will do worse damage and I'm sure she'll come crawling back asking for help. Although that; God forbid!

Question: Is that being mean? Cause all I know is that I'm not taking part in her lousy games anymore! And being a non-participant, I could only watch from afar. Being a non-participant I should not offer any help – because after all it is a universal rule of games for spectators to watch but not get involved physically. She wants to play, she's free to do so. I'll be the one watching from the comforts of home. After all I know I'm better than that. To betray or embarrass, harass or harm someone either physically or emotionally is not my forte. Feel so sorry for her though. That's okay, I'm not the one missing out on life. I just like to take things in moderation these days. As for feeling hurt - Maybe its like what they say; time will heal. Yeah sure!
Sorry for venting out my emotions on the net like this. Just don't have anyone to talk to right now. Feeling very lonely……. BUT! I'll get over it Nothing can bring me down ever so easily these days now that I've been through enough. Well than, I think I've said whatever I have to say and that's it. Thank you all for your much valuable opinion on this matter. I'm not going to waste my time thinking about her or what she has to say. I going with the majority. After all, where I'm at, majority rules so really, I can't go wrong with that. I'll have more question but It'll be more towards sports and the likes. Feel free to check out the sport section soon.

I have one of those Judas sisters too. My dad has been married four times. Not the best track record, but he is my dad and I love him. Recently I have become friends with a younger man, and my sister was sure because he is Turkish, he is a terrorist. (insane). She herself has actually moved to another country just to live near a married man she was pursuing, but can not see there is any problem with this. When I saw my dad's wife flirting with someone on Facebook, I was concerned about it and told my sister. Instead of just trying to calm me down, or talk about it as a sister who loves my dad, she told my dad's wife! And this has made it impossible for me to see my dad. She is determined to ruin whatever close relationship my dad and I had. I told her, even though I love her, I do not want much to do with family now.

You are not wrong in refusing to be a door mat. Hopefully if you stand up to her she will get a clue that she is wrong. I do not know if my sister can see she is wrong. She has been jealous of me all her life. When I got married to my ex she was jealous because she wanted my husband. Some people are pathologically jealous, and they need help you can not give them. Only God and a good therapist can help such people. I hope you feel stronger knowing you are not alone, and that you do not have to lose yourself respect to be loved. Someone who loves you will not do this to you.

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Originally Posted by ErinArts

I have one of those Judas sisters too. My dad has been married four times. Not the best track record, but he is my dad and I love him. Recently I have become friends with a younger man, and my sister was sure because he is Turkish, he is a terrorist. (insane). She herself has actually moved to another country just to live near a married man she was pursuing, but can not see there is any problem with this. When I saw my dad's wife flirting with someone on Facebook, I was concerned about it and told my sister. Instead of just trying to calm me down, or talk about it as a sister who loves my dad, she told my dad's wife! And this has made it impossible for me to see my dad. She is determined to ruin whatever close relationship my dad and I had. I told her, even though I love her, I do not want much to do with family now.

You are not wrong in refusing to be a door mat. Hopefully if you stand up to her she will get a clue that she is wrong. I do not know if my sister can see she is wrong. She has been jealous of me all her life. When I got married to my ex she was jealous because she wanted my husband. Some people are pathologically jealous, and they need help you can not give them. Only God and a good therapist can help such people. I hope you feel stronger knowing you are not alone, and that you do not have to lose your self respect to be loved. Someone who loves you will not do this to you.

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This thread is almost 2 years old?

What does that have to do with the fact that people deal with this problem all the time? I read this only today and responded today because someone is confronting this right now. I found this on Google.

SAB is right, perhaps starting a new thread would yield better responses.