Ask Me Help Desk - How do I change my children's last names

How do I change my children's last names

I have been married for eight years. My children have recently started asking to have their names changed to my married name. Although my husband is not their biological father he is the only one they have ever known. There is no father named on their birth certificates and I have and have always had sole custody. What do I have to do to change their names legally and officially?

You have actually made this harder by not listing the father on the birth certificate. To change a person's name requires a court order. For a court to issue an order changing a child's name, they will usually require that the father be identified and his agreement be obtained for the name change.

Have you considered having your husband adopt them? Courts will probably be more amenable to the change if an adoption is part of it.

In any case, I would strongly suggest that you consult an attorney about this. A local Family Law attorney will know the local laws and the courts and be able to advise on the best option.

You say you "have always had sole custody". Were you ever awarded custody by a court? If not, then you really don't have sole custody.

My son, the eldest, his father was never around. I have never shared custody if him and there is no record of who his father is.
My daughters father there was a court case where he relinquished all rights and signed over full custody to me.
If there was never a biological father and I have never shared custody how could they require me to contact him?
It is my own selfish reason for opting to change a last name and not adopt. I fought for my daughter for a year, I don't ever want to have to do that again.

You say you "have always had sole custody". Were you ever awarded custody by a court? If not, then you really don't have sole custody.[/QUOTE]

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For a court to issue an order changing a child's name, they will usually require that the father be identified and his agreement be obtained for the name change.

Not true. If the father's name was not listed on child's BC then his agreement is not required

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Were you ever awarded custody by a court? If not, then you really don't have sole custody.

Not true. A single mother / without established paternity/ has sole legal and physical custody.

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Originally Posted by single Mama

My son, the eldest, his father was never around. I have never shared custody if him and there is no record of who his father is.

That doesn't matter. The law in most places requires that the bio father be contacted when a legal name change is requested.

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Originally Posted by single Mama

My daughters father there was a court case where he relinquished all rights and signed over full custody to me.

This is rather unusual. Courts will generally not issue a TPR unless under special circumstances. Allowing you to have full custody is one thing. Relinquishing all rights is another. However, if there is a court order terminating his rights, then you would not have to contact him about a name change.

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Originally Posted by single Mama

If there was never a biological father and I have never shared custody how could they require me to contact him?

There HAD to be a bio father unless you used artificial insemination or there was a miracle. And again, the law requires that both parents agree to a name change. That's why they can require it.

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Originally Posted by single Mama

It is my own selfish reason for opting to change a last name and not adopt. I fought for my daughter for a year, I don't ever want to have to do that again.

I can understand that and, of course, its your choice.

I would suggest that you contact a Family Law attorney. They will know the laws for your area and the mood of the local courts. They can best advise you on the probability and process for getting a name change. We can only tell you what we know of the law generally.

My guess is that the courts won't allow you to change their last name to your husband's without an adoption, but it's just a guess.

However, they can use any name they want as long as there is no intent to defraud. So they can use your husband's last name except where a legal name is required.

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Originally Posted by GV70

Not true. If the father's name was not listed on child's BC then his agreement is not required

That's not my experience. A mother cannot deny a father their rights by just leaving him off the birth certificate. So when legal action is taken that affects the father's rights, the mother would be required to, at least, attempt to contact the father.

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Originally Posted by GV70

Not true. A single mother / without established paternity/ has sole legal and physical custody.

Yes, she would have defacto legal and physical custody. But only until the father went to court to enforce his rights.

Under some circumstances the court may waive the requirement to notify the other parent of child's last name change.In most states/ Ca,Pa, etc/ it is needed only to apply for a waiver / preparing an Application and Order Dispensing With Notice/. There it has to be explained only that the child's father is not listed on child's BC and a copy of which is attached... Long live the Doctrine of Waiver.