I know in the end I'm just going to have to talk to her about how I feel. But that's kind of the bummer here as I want our sex life to come natural. I feel like I do whatever she asks. Charity, going places, watching things she wants with very few complaints. We cook together we really do everything and I love it. Our relationship going on 6 months. I don't like how our sex started so strong and has tapered off a little bit. I'm not pulling back on anything. Sex or anything else. My main problem is she knows and we've talked about is my insecurity that was created from past relationships. We all know what that might be right? You would think she would try to go out of her way to try and make me feel otherwise. Instead blowjobs are few and far between which I think is unfair because I go down on her every chance I get because I love it. I don't know I love the time I spend with her but at the same time I can't help but want to completely tear her to pieces when we get in bed. I'm just not getting the same energy I feel like I'm putting out. Even if I do something with her I really don't want to do I still enjoy it because I'm with her and she's happy. I just wish she would do something crazy to let me know she wants me other than when I'm trying to have sex with her in bed. Say something dirty to me. Rub my in the car. Make me feel like I'm as wanted as much as I want her. Sexually. Feel like the next time we have sex I'm going to have a heart attack by the vicious frustration sex I'm going to unleash on her. Ugh

First things first. Some girls like to suck cock, and others don't. Just as some like to go down on a woman and others don't. Just the way things are.

The rest.. . you need to talk to her about it. You have different expectations than she does and you haven't communicated them. You can't expect her to read your mind just as you can't be expected to read hers.

If you can't talk about it, you shouldn't be having it.

I agree with Craven, you need to pick the an intimate time to discuss thse issues. I agree

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Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

First things first. Some girls like to suck cock, and others don't. Just as some like to go down on a woman and others don't. Just the way things are.

The rest... .you need to talk to her about it. You have different expectations than she does and you haven't communicated them. You can't expect her to read your mind just as you can't be expected to read hers.

If you can't talk about it, you shouldn't be having it.

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I have already expressed to her how horny I have been. I've said a few things here and there but not have actually sat down and had a serious discussion. I understand sex doesn't just start when you get in bed. Throughout the day I do all the little things to let her know how much I desire her. I kind of mentioned it before all the things we do together so its not like this is the only thing keeping our relationship together. But the change in how we do it and how much from the beginning to now after I told her some of the hurdles I've had to get over is very annoying. I said in the first post I know I'm going to have to talk about it. Figured I'd just get some advice before I dive in. Btw even if I didn't like eating her out I'd do it anyway if it made her happy just like some of the things I currently do. It's just lazy in my opinion. Some things I love doing with her others I don't. As long as the result is a happy girlfriend I'm happy. I should also mention her complaint of how her ex paid no attention to her sexually. Now she gets the exact opposite and here we are.

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Originally Posted by SYE

I have already expressed to her how horny I have been. I've said a few things here and there but not have actually sat down and had a serious discussion. I understand sex doesn't just start when you get in bed. Throughout the day I do all the little things to let her know how much I desire her. I kind of mentioned it before all the things we do together so its not like this is the only thing keeping our relationship together. But the change in how we do it and how much from the beginning to now after I told her some of the hurdles I've had to get over is very annoying. I said in the first post I know I'm going to have to talk about it. Figured I'd just get some advice before I dive in. Btw even if I didn't like eating her out I'd do it anyway if it made her happy just like some of the things I currently do. It's just lazy in my opinion. Some things I love doing with her others I don't. As long as the end result is a happy girlfriend I'm happy. I should also mention her complaint of how her ex paid no attention to her sexually. Now she gets the exact opposite and here we are.

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Something both of your posts touch on is a huge red flag. Your insecurities are your own. Your past (her past is hers to deal with) is your 'hurdle' to get over and she is not responsible for making your feel more secure or doing things to make you feel better about yourself. If you feel like she is and that she should be doing more to make you feel better about yourself then you are putting pressure on her that maybe now and will in the future cause her to back off and possibly run away.

Discussing how you both seem to have different expectations and how you can work as a couple to make things better is part of being a couple. However, don't do things simply because you expect to get paid back and do not expect her to do things she is uncomfortable with just to make you feel more secure. In discussing the issues, don't forget to listen to her needs and expectations. You might find that she is feeling pressured or stressed or has other issues (maybe medical) causing her to not want sex as much at this point in time.

If you are still feeling insecure, work through those thoughts and feelings on your own. She needs to work through her own insecurities. Neither of you should feel like you are responsible for the other person's mental or emotional well-being. Giving your partner support does not mean you become a bandage or a crutch for their past injuries.

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Something both of your posts touch on is a huge red flag. Your insecurities are your own. Your past (her past is hers to deal with) is your 'hurdle' to get over and she is not responsible for making your feel more secure or doing things to make you feel better about yourself. If you feel like she is and that she should be doing more to make you feel better about yourself then you are putting pressure on her that maybe now and will in the future cause her to back off and possibly run away.

Discussing how you both seem to have different expectations and how you can work as a couple to make things better is part of being a couple. However, don't do things simply because you expect to get paid back and do not expect her to do things she is uncomfortable with just to make you feel more secure. In discussing the issues, don't forget to listen to her needs and expectations. You might find that she is feeling pressured or stressed or has other issues (maybe medical) causing her to not want sex as much at this point in time.

If you are still feeling insecure, work through those thoughts and feelings on your own. She needs to work through her own insecurities. Neither of you should feel like you are responsible for the other person's mental or emotional well-being. Giving your partner support does not mean you become a bandage or a crutch for their past injuries.

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Another weekend of no sex. Awesome. Listen I do not expect to be paid back. That notion burns me to the core. I do things because I love her. What I was getting at was this don't start a relationship for the first two months with amazing sex. Then I bring up that insecurity in a serious conversation and all of a sudden there's a drop off in the amount of sex we are having. I have been mentioning every weekend my desire for her and it seems to make no difference. Why do I feel like in this thread and in my real life like somehow I'm an because I want to have sex with my girlfriend once a week. Sorry I'm a

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Something both of your posts touch on is a huge red flag. Your insecurities are your own. Your past (her past is hers to deal with) is your 'hurdle' to get over and she is not responsible for making your feel more secure or doing things to make you feel better about yourself. If you feel like she is and that she should be doing more to make you feel better about yourself then you are putting pressure on her that maybe now and will in the future cause her to back off and possibly run away.

Discussing how you both seem to have different expectations and how you can work as a couple to make things better is part of being a couple. However, don't do things simply because you expect to get paid back and do not expect her to do things she is uncomfortable with just to make you feel more secure. In discussing the issues, don't forget to listen to her needs and expectations. You might find that she is feeling pressured or stressed or has other issues (maybe medical) causing her to not want sex as much at this point in time.

If you are still feeling insecure, work through those thoughts and feelings on your own. She needs to work through her own insecurities. Neither of you should feel like you are responsible for the other person's mental or emotional well-being. Giving your partner support does not mean you become a bandage or a crutch for their past injuries.

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Another weekend of no sex. Awesome. Listen I do not expect to be paid back. That notion burns me to the core. I do things because I love her. What I was getting at was this don't start a relationship for the first two months with amazing frequent sex. Then I bring up that insecurity in a serious conversation and all of a sudden there's a drop off in the amount of sex we are having. I have been mentioning every weekend my desire for her and it seems to make no difference. Why do I feel like in this thread and in my real life like somehow I'm an because I want to have sex with my girlfriend once a week. About to lose my mind.

Your wanting sex, your need for it, seems to be the center of your relationship with her (or at least that's what I get from reading your posts). How about no sex for two weeks, not even hinting about it, and see what happens. Just spend time together and get to know each other better.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Your wanting sex, your need for it, seems to be the center of your relationship with her (or at least that's what I get from reading your posts). How about no sex for two weeks, not even hinting about it, and see what happens. Just spend time together and get to know each other better.

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we do. We meet up during the week once because we live an hour away from each other get dinner. Then we see each other on the weekends. Like I said. We do everything together. Movies, shopping, cook together, watch movies, go for walks, hang out. I help her with her work. And have a blast doing it. So I don't see how spending one hour (or less) having sex is the center of our relationship.

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Originally Posted by SYE

So I don't see how spending one hour (or less) having sex is the center of our relationship.

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I should have said, it's the center of your thinking and unhappiness with the state of things.

Sex often just does not happen. Going to a pro foot ball game, or going to a movie does not just happen, normally there are plans, schedules. Most sex has to be planned or it never happens.

Most women do not do things in cars, and a large amount hate to give oral sex. You love to give it, many guys don't like to give it.

So if you give it, thinking you will get it, that is so wrong, you do it, only because you like to and she wants it.

Also you sounds like you want sex for sex, she most likely wants romance not cheap thrills in a car

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Sex often just does not happen. Going to a pro foot ball game, or going to a movie does not just happen, normally there are plans, schedules. Most sex has to be planned or it never happens.

Most women do not do things in cars, and a large amount hate to give oral sex. you love to give it, many guys don't like to give it.

So if you give it, thinking you will get it, that is so wrong, you do it, only because you like to and she wants it.

Also you sounds like you want sex for sex, she most likely wants romance not cheap thrills in a car

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We have already done things in the car so this it's not something new. I'm not even saying that I want that. Just something. Yes I want sex for sex. But not all the time. I think I'm just going to drop it. Clearly there's something wrong with me for wanting to continue having sex at the rate we were before.

What strikes me as central to this right now is that you're requiring or expecting sex from her every weekend. I bet that makes her feel like a Sperm Receptacle. What made you think that this is required of her? Why do you think sex SHOULD be on the menu? Seems a little conceited. It is like holding onto a fist full of sand. The harder you squeeze the more of it seeps through your fingers until you have nothing.

Relationships go through feast and famine cycles. It happens. Have you asked her if there is anything going on with her? There might be a good reason. It also sounds like your conversations with her drop on the onus of not having sex on her. So when you say you want to have more sex like it was in the beginning, you are suggesting that there is something wrong with her. It also gives her an impression of your priorities.

I think you might have screwed the pooch on this one. So if you want to work it out than accept that you're not going to have sex. Maybe when you get in the same city or area it can pick up. Right now I think you need to impress upon your little lady that you want more in a relationship than some place to park your pee-pee.