I have 2 grown children a son 38 and a daughter 34 They neither one talk to me and also do not allow the grand kids to talk to me. I ask why and my son says if I think living 1000 miles away from him and the grand kids calling them and sending them an gift here and there is being a grandma think again. My son has 5 children by 3 woman and one child he has not seen since he was a baby. His oldest child is almost 18 and when he was born he and the child's mother put him up for adoption I went and saw the baby with my son and he couldn't give him up. He brought his him to my home where he lived also For almost a yr I took care of this child I bought all his clothes had pic of him taken every month. I took him to the Dr. I was like a mother to that child. When the baby was almost a yr old my son waited until I went to work and my daughter was taking care of the baby he and the babies mom decided to get back together so they took him and everything I had that belonged to him. There was not anything I could do. I still saw him and they went on to have a daughter then they divorced and he got with another girl and they have 2 boys.
I moved to Fl when my oldest grandchild was about 8 yrs old I lived there for about 7 yrs the moved back home I was home for 2 yrs and never was I allowed to see the kids. I tried to get them all together for christmas and it never happened since all this I have remarried and have not talked to my son for a couple of yrs now he will not let the kids talk to me still and it is very hurtful I don't know what I have done wrong I am hoping that in April when my grandson turns 18 he will contact me somehow. I really miss them all but they get mad if I do something that they don,'t like live where I want. So they just all stop talking to me . It is just easy to just not talk to me for yrs . I am about to give up and just go on with my life and be done . I am sick of thinking about all this Any idesa on how to handle this. I will explain my daughter in my next post, It is quite different than my sons, I was married to their father for 20 yrs he wasn't much of a father he was an alcoholic and did have a temper I stayed for them.off and on . Maybe this is the reason though I don't understand it Please Help Thanks

There are so many complicated and intricate things that go into a child's refusal to see a parent. It might take all day for your son to write his reasons down, or explain them to you. It would be nice if he could. Maybe he blames you for staying with his alcoholic father, if the man's temper was directed at all of you. And maybe he blames both of you for his dysfunctional life. He may not even realize it.
All you can do is wait. Start a Facebook page and see if they have one, and put nice happy pictures on your page, and hope they see them.

Be patient, take it easy and step by step.