Ask Me Help Desk - Ok I'm a tomboy.. and I don't want to be one. I want to be girly help?

Ok I'm a tomboy.. and I don't want to be one. I want to be girly help?

Ok I want to be more girly but I want to take it slow. I have short (like really short) hair, but I'm busy growing it out. I wear skinny jeans and sneakers, and a t-shirt and hoodies. I'm not afraid to wear pink. I own girly boots, which I like to wear. I hate dresses... I genrally like making and building stuff. And I like technology. I am also a gamer. I am 15 and I have never had a boyfriend. Before I cut my hair there was about.. 3 guys that liked me. But I only liked one. But we never gone out or anything. I want to change but its hard. I need advice?

Don't change. Be your authentic self, be who you really are. I was a tomboy, and by the time I was allowed to date, I had more boyfriends and date possibilities than you could shake a stick at. Why? Because the guys already knew me as a good team player, as an honest person, and as someone fun to be with. Those guys didn't care if I was a girly girl or if my hair was short or long or if I wore pink. That stuff didn't matter to the guys. And I refused to play up to other girls. I didn't need to. Let them play up to me!

U don't get the guys from here... most of them are jerks. They only like pretty girls and girly girls. They tease my sometimes. But there are teally nice guys that I know of though... I want to change

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Originally Posted by 123bianca123

U don't get the guys from here....most of them are jerks. They only like pretty girls and girly girls. They tease my sometimes. But there are teally nice guys that I know of though...I want to change

NEVER change to fit in. NEVER change to attract guys, especially guys you say are jerks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

NEVER change to fit in. NEVER change to attract guys, especially guys you say are jerks.

I don't want to fit in. I just don't want to be like I am. I want to change for myself. I know everyone's unique but.. I'll still be the person I am. I just want to be more atractive in general. I will still have my hobbies. I am just tired of neing treated like I am. Some (a lot) people have wondered if I am a boy or a girl. When the talk to my parents they will be like "your son...daughter...." And children even came to me once and asked me which I am. I just want to look more girly. My personality will stay the same

Are you in the US and near some major department stores like JC Penney's or Nordstrom's or Macy's?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Are you in the US and near some major department stores like JC Penney's or Nordstrom's or Macy's?

Nope.. I am from south africa. All american clothes we get hete are hollister.. I have a t-shirt from them. But all of their stuff is reaaaaally small. And they only have r-shirts and hoodies.I have to take a large. Which is weird because I'm skinny. I weigh like 55kg. But if you want 2 give me advice on clothes just tell me which kind of clothes 2 wear since you won't know the stores here

My idea is to go to a good clothing store and ask one of the sales ladies for ideas on girly clothes to try on. Tell her your plan.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

My idea is to go to a good clothing store and ask one of the sales ladies for ideas on girly clothes to try on. Tell her your plan.

And... how am I supposed to act around guys? And... my friend was a tomboy and she agreed to help me :) she has changed an now se is a normal girl(who has a boyfriend) every girl in my school has probibly had a boyfriend except me

Quote:

Originally Posted by 123bianca123

And...how am I supposed to act around guys? And...my friend was a tomboy and she agreed to help me :) she has changed an now se is a normal girl(who has a boyfriend) every girl in my school has probibly had a boyfriend exept me

I don't want to change for guy I just want to be normal

Quote:

Originally Posted by 123bianca123

And...how am I supposed to act around guys? And...my friend was a tomboy and she agreed to help me :) she has changed an now se is a normal girl(who has a boyfriend) every girl in my school has probibly had a boyfriend exept me

Well, first realize you can't accomplish miracles overnight. Do this one step at a time. Start with the look you want to show to the world. Meanwhile, your hair will grow. A beauty shop might be able to give you a new girly hairdo with your shorter hair. I'm thinking waif or gamin or a manga look.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Well, first realize you can't accomplish miracles overnight. Do this one step at a time. Start with the look you want to show to the world. Meanwhile, your hair will grow. A beauty shop might be able to give you a new girly hairdo with your shorter hair. I'm thinking waif or gamin or a manga look.

http://www.hairfinder.com/hairstyles3/jmm4th.jpg that is about my hair length now

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Originally Posted by 123bianca123

http://www.hairfinder.com/hairstyles3/jmm4th.jpg that is about my hair length now

Longer on the sides though

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Originally Posted by 123bianca123

Longer on the sides though

That could be made girly girlish.

Bianca, how's the girly thing going? I was responding to your original post and then I saw the date.

Here's the post I typed before I saw the date on your original post:

Quote:

Originally Posted by 123bianca123

I don't wanna change for guy I just want 2 be normal

It's okay. You are normal. Don't worry about that. And at 15, there is nothing wrong with choosing to make changes in your life to have more of what you want in life.

Adults do it all the time - unless they're just old and stubborn and stuck in their ways. However, I digress... this is not about adults too stubborn to grow and change, it is about you wanting to make some changes in your life.

Flip through some magazines and shopping catalogs. Circle pictures of clothing that you consider girly and that you would feel comfortable wearing and in which you would still feel like you. Cut your favorite ones out and hang them on your mirror or a corkboard in your bedroom.

As far as how to act, you DO need to figure out how to be true to yourself but that does not mean you can't be you while adding some feminine behaviors.

Watch the more feminine girls at school and see if you would feel comfortable picking up some tips from watching them. Don't watch the girls on TV for this kind of stuff unless you want to turn into a faker. If you have adopted 'I'm your buddy' mannerisms with the guys, start to reconsider an arm punch or a lengthy discussion about boy stuff where you're the only girl participating. Here's the thing: This doesn't have to be forever or even 100 percent. Boys like girls that are feminine AND can talk boy stuff. But the boys you know need to make some adjustments in their vision of you - with your help, of course. Just let them start to see the more feminine side of you a little with the new hair and some pretty clothes.

I love the look on a man's face when he's busy admiring my hair and pretty dress, and I surprise him by knowing who one yesterday's football games or by rattling off the names of my favorite NASCAR drivers. Or tell him that I do Crossfit. Stuff like that. They definitely like that I look all woman but will stomp on the living room floor and yell at the TV over a bad call by a ref.

If they're so inclined, let them open doors for you. If they offer to help you with something, let them. As capable human beings we can do a lot of things that boys can do, right? But they want to do things for us and we often don't let them. Go ahead. Let them. It shows them that they're recognized as the male of the species. It's not a game. It's allowing them to be masculine, which, if you want to be more feminine, you have to do. You can't have feminine without masculine.

Consider trying some dresses. You might be surprised how they will grow on you. I'm not sure where you live but I love dresses in the summertime - especially the long flowing kind - and they look very feminine. They're so much more comfortable when it's hot outside instead of trying to get into a tight pair of pants. Maybe try some long skirts (especially for winter) or long summer dresses come spring/summer. Or even now in winter, try a short skirt with opaque tights and some boots. While the short skirt is decidedly feminine, you will feel less exposed with the tights (and you need them in the winter anyway), and a little 'tougher' with the boots. Truly.

Add some jewelry. Pretty jewelry is feminine. You don't have to wear a ton of it. Just a necklace and some earrings can add a lot of girliness to a look.

I'm not a big fan of make-up but even a little touch of lip gloss and a swipe of very subtle color on your eye lids can enhance whatcha got. I suggest staying away from using a lot of eye liner and shadow. Once you start using a lot of it, you start to think that's the way you should look and it's hard to stop wearing it. Trust me on this. I wore a lot of makeup in my late teens/ early 20s.