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So I went to a party and got drunk. Me and this guy I know started to dry hump me and tried to have sex but I kept saying no. Later he went to take a bath and when he came back acted like nothing happened we just slept on different sides of the bed. What's up with that? Also I told him before we did anything that I didn't want to go all the way
He thought he could take advantage of you being drunk. That's what's up.
How old are you?
21Quote:
Originally Posted by alty
I wasn't that drunk he had more to drink than meQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
He did it because he thought you'd be willing. You weren't, so he stopped.Quote:
Originally Posted by Reb368
If you want to avoid situations like this I'd suggest staying sober, and making sure that the guys that want to have sex with you, know right away that you're not interested.
I told him before we started anything that I wasn't interested in going all the wayQuote:
Originally Posted by Alty
Did you make out with him?Quote:
Originally Posted by Reb368
You should have never done anything with him at all if you weren't interested.
Either way, it's not a big deal. He didn't push the issue, you weren't raped, you said no and he stopped.
No we didn't even kiss. And he knows how I stand on the issue of sex. And I like him so it matters a little to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alty
Il be a little honest and blunt. He dry humped you and then disapeard to have a bath and then came and slept on the other side of the bed like nothing happened, sounds like he needed a relief and most very likely masturbated in the bath. Masturbating and with most people kills the feeling of hornyness for a while so he felt no need to try it with you and was content in just going to sleep. That's my thought anyway
Guys are taught (through media and stories their friends tell) that it's OK to pressure a girl for sex until she says 'no.' Anything less than a 'no' is seen as possible permission. Not only had you not turned him down, yet (at least for that attempt), but you were in a bed with him. Therefore, he believed that there was a chance of you consenting, even though you previously told him it wouldn't happen, until you said 'no.' At that point, he stopped.
In his mind, he didn't do anything wrong, so there's nothing to talk about. He tried, you turned him down, and he stopped. He probably sees it as pretty much the same thing as asking a girl out and being turned down. Not exactly accurate, or fair to you, but at least he didn't keep trying or get angry about it. There's also every possibility he remembers things slightly differently, because he was drunk.
In the future, maybe you shouldn't share a bed when he's been drinking. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and impairs judgement, which means people do things they would never do sober. Even if he always stops as soon as you tell him to, I'm sure you don't want a repeat of the situation. It doesn't have to hurt your friendship, just change sleeping arrangements when alcohol is involved.
Let me see you and he in home together, sleep in same bed, I can see any guy thinking there would be sex.
Of course you told him there would not be, that is what the guy expects you to say to act like it was not your idea. And to stay proper.
He did not owe you any talk after bath, the fact you were still there, not on couch or on the way home, sort of says it was OK
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