My husband of nearly 20 years recently had an affair with someone who I thought was my best friend. She was is currently dating another friend of ours. She found out dhe is pregnant and wants an abortion. So does my husband, however the boyfriend does not so she won't have one. I have recently found out she is on drugs, heavy drugs and in case this child is my husbands what can we do to either A) give all his rights away: B) ensure she stays clean until the baby is here?

If he is the legal father - determined by Court-ordered DNA testing - he will be responsible for child support unless/until someone steps in to legally adopt the child. At that point your husband would no longer be the legal father and would have no responsibility for supporting the child.

He cannot just "sign away his rights." If the mother is on public assistance the child's medical bills - if he is proven to be the father - are also his responsibility IF DNA testing proves he is the father.

He cannot force the mother to have an abortion.

There is no way you can get and keep the prospective mother clean.

Was she a heavy drug user when he was involved with her, early in the pregnancy?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

If he is the legal father - determined by Court-ordered DNA testing - he will be responsible for child support unless/until someone steps in to legally adopt the child. At that point your husband would no longer be the legal father and would have no responsibility for supporting the child.

He cannot just "sign away his rights." If the mother is on public assistance the child's medical bills - if he is proven to be the father - are also his responsibility IF DNA testing proves he is the father.

He cannot force the mother to have an abortion.

There is no way you can get and keep the prospective mother clean.

Was she a heavy drug user when he was involved with her, early in the pregnancy?

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Okay -my apologies, it is early pregnancy, conception date is Sept.18-Sept.24, and to answer your question, yes she was. I had just seen this girl again after about 10 yrs. And she was what I thought to be a recovering addict.However I have found out she never stopped. Speed and prescriptions are her choice. I would like nothing more for this baby to be born healthy.That is really what I am asking, if there is a way that we can keep her clean and no she will not stay clean willingly. Especially if this baby is my husband's. Don't get me wrong I believe she needs help regardless but she has already said that if it is my husband's she will sighn her rights to us. ( I am not convinced that is reality though-she is all about money) And while this may seem very one sided - Please believe I only want what's best for all of us. Her included- also she has kids and so do my husband and I.. making a difficult situation impossible.

You can try reporting her to family services. If she is endangering the life of the child they may step in.

Also if she marries her boyfriend before the child is born then he is the one accepting responsibility.