my child-12 yr. old- told me that her friend cuts herself and she wants me to do something that won't trace back to her , so she won't be looked at as a "snitch" in her friends eyes. Her friend doesn't have a healthy home life , and we live in a small town... if you know what I mean... what could be the best way to handle this??

If it's not possible to talk to the parents of that child, I would bring this to the attention of the teacher

Contact the counselor of the school that the kids go to.

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Originally Posted by J_9

Contact the counselor of the school that the kids go to.

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She is scared it will get found out that she or I said something, she wants it quiet but known...

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Originally Posted by just wandering

she is scared it will get found out that she or i said something, she wants it quiet but known...

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The counselor is supposed to keep stuff confidential. Remind him/her of that, if necessary. If word gets out, it will probably be from kids telling kids.

Discuss that with the school counselor. Let him/her know of your daughter's fears as well as the issue at hand. I'm sure your daughter would feel much worse if the friend was actually successful at taking her own life. It does happen to cutters you know, particularly the yong ones like this child. Self mutilation is a cry for help. She told your daughter and that is a cry for help as well, so help this poor child who is in such pain that she inflicts more pain upon herself.

If she accidentally cuts herself too deep and bleeds to death, both you and you daughter will live the rest of your lives with a guilty conscience because you knew about the problem but took no action to help this poor girl.

The ball is in your court Mom. How would you feel if the tables were turned and your daughter was cutting and an adult knew about it but kept quiet?

One last thought... if this were your daughter and she did accidentally take her life, would you hold the parents of the child who reported this to them responsible for the death of your child because they were more worried about the friendship rather than the life of your daughter? You don't have to answer that, it's just food for thought.

Her friend needs help. My friends use to cut themselves and kept trying to commit suicide , etc. adults have been there and have struggled. Helping her friend is better than being a snitch. Telling someone this can also save her friends life possibly. Today is different than back then espcially in school. A lot more depression. Sometimes the kids need a parent or a close adult to listen to. Teenagers do not think of what their futures can turn out to be when they are doing this stuff. Been there done that. If her friend doesn't have a healthy life style she might be depressed because she might think her parents don't love her. What that child needs is someone that will listen to her and not lecture (at that point) letting all that hurt out can do wonders. When you think or feel that connection and think she is ready to be pointed in the rigt direction, show her. But for your 12-year old thinking she feels like a snitch, in this situation it is a very good thing.