Ask Me Help Desk - Is this child mine?

Had sex Aug. 27th. Girl text me sept. 7th and said she had been hiding something from me for 3 days. Sept. 11th text me and said she was pregnant. She found out Sept. 4th. I asked when her period was and she said she was 10 days late on sept. 11th. Meaning she should have had one sept. 1st or 2nd. I wore a condom and felt the tightness as I ejaculated as normal. I took the condom with me and didn't notice any tares or rips. She had said she couldn't get pregnant again according to her doctor based on her previous pregnancy (her 4 month Old). She said I didn't need to wear a condom that it would be OK she couldn't get knocked up and I could go inside or pull out. I wore a condom anyway. The second time we had sex she asked me not to wear one and said it felt better, I said no and still wore one. The last time we had sex was after she found out but before she told me and she was literally telling me not to wear a condom. I said no I always use one.
I was told of 2 doctors visits but the dates changed and I wasn't aware of those until after she had gone to them. I received a text October 16th from her mother saying she was almost 3 months pregnant and I needed to figure things out. I asked how they knew she was almost 3 months and she told me the doctor said since aug. 4th, that it added up, it was my baby. I said we didn't even have sex until the 27th. She informed me that she had been to 4 diff doctors and had gotten 3 diff answers. They would be going to children's hospital for a 3d ultra sound. The next day I received a text saying she was 9 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Putting it at aug. 14th. I wasn't told if that was fetal or gestational age. She has complained of bleeding and cramping all pregnancy. I'm torn. If its mine will it make it with all the complications and am I ever going to get to go to the doctor. The other part of me says that she had sex prior to me and that if she told me not to wear a condom them she proably told that person the same thing. She's dating someone the last few weeks and has asked for my information for child support. Do you think it could be mine based on the dates provided?

In all honesty, your post is very confusing. If you had sex with her on August 27, and she told you she was pregnant on September 4, it would be too early for her to receive a positive pregnancy result from that particular encounter.

Did you have sex with her prior to August 27, or was this the first time?

In the end, there is no way to predict whether you are the father of this child until it is born and a DNA test is done.

I have to agree with J9. If you had sex for the first time on August 27, there's no way she would get a positive pregnancy test by September 4. But, your post is confusing, not sure about the dates you've posted.

Don't sign anything. Wait until the baby is born, and demand a DNA test.

Agreed, If you did not have sex before Aug 27, there is no way at all she would know she was pregnant from that sex on Sept 4th. ( Oct 4th yes)

Next child support does not start till the child is born and formal request though courts.

Don't pay anything, sounds like she is trying to scam you for money to me.

If there is ever a baby born, require a DNA test before paying anything

No this was the first time we ever had sex or anything was the 27th. We had sex twice more and that was it on the 1st of September and 9th of September.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

In all honesty, your post is very confusing. If you had sex with her on August 27, and she told you she was pregnant on September 4, it would be too early for her to receive a positive pregnancy result from that particular encounter.

Did you have sex with her prior to August 27, or was this the first time?

In the end, there is no way to predict whether or not you are the father of this child until it is born and a DNA test is done.

We had sex the 27th of August.
September 7th had an argument, she said she had been hiding something from me for 3 days. Sept. 4th.
September 11th text and said she was preganant, That's what she was hiding. She found out sept. 4th.
She said she felt sick and went to the doctor. Her obgyn instead of a normal doctor.
Was late for her period on sept. 11th by a week and a half. Putter her period around sept. 1st-2nd.
On October 16th she said the doctor said she was nearly 3 months along and that it dated back to aug. 4th. (I responded we didn't even have sex for 23 days after that date the 27th)
On October 17th, she text and said after another ultra sound, this one 3d she said that the doctor told her 9 weeks and 1 day at that point. Dating to aug. 14th. This threw me that the doctors were off that many days from what I've read is that the first 12 weeks are the most accurate to track since all babies grow at the same level daily and that after the first trimester its harder because they grow at diff. rates. She believed the first date of aug. 4th added up to it being my child. Then she believed aug. 14th added up as well. Which leads me to believe that she had sex earlier in August than when her and I had. Being a mother of two it should not have added up with the aug. 4th she was told the first time. Also that she went to 4 diff doctors and was told 3 diff answers yet I was only told about 2 appt. total seemed fishy to me. I believe I was not told of those appts. Because I told her I wanted to go ask the doctor questions that things didn't add up to me. She had asked weeks ago to get my info to get child support started. One of my thoughts was that if she had sex before me and believed she couldn't get pregnant she probably told someone else the same thing she told me which was no need to wear a condom. The condoms I had were not very old purchased within the last month before our encounter. We were not dating it was just sex and we had sex the first time we met and that was it. She text everyday after asking me to come by again for more. The next two times we did she asked me not to wear one because it didn't matter, it felt better and said she couldn't get pregnant. Though those thoughts make me leary of if its mine. Based on the dates she was given and has given me. What are the chances?

Sounds to me like she wanted to trap you. She probably asked you not to wear a condom, because she already knew she was pregnant, but the father of the child wants nothing to do with her or the baby. So why not try and convince you that you're the father?

We can't positively say beyond doubt that the baby isn't yours. Only DNA can determine paternity, but, with the dates you've given (sex on August 27, positive pregnancy test on September 4) I'd say there's a very good chance that this baby isn't yours.

Bottom line, you can't prove you're not the father, but you do have the right to demand a DNA test once the baby is born. I'd be shocked if the DNA test showed you as the father. I really would be. But, that's the only way to get her off your back for support, or to find out if she's telling the truth and this baby is yours.

So, the next time she texts you, say that you will not give out any money, or sign anything (what you could possibly sign at this point, I have no idea, since the baby isn't born yet), until a DNA test is done after the baby is born.

If she continues to harass you, get a lawyer, and let the lawyer deal with her.

Please don't continually post this question and try to start new threads. Three of our top experts have responded to you, one of them being a labor-and-delivery nurse.

There is nothing you can do now except stop talking with this woman and wait until the baby is born, at which time you will ask for a DNA test.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Please don't continually post this question and try to start new threads. Three of our top experts have responded to you, one of them being a labor-and-delivery nurse.

There is nothing you can do now except stop talking with this woman and wait until the baby is born, at which time you will ask for a DNA test.

Did not mean to repost again like that was trying to post with the dates and such at the bottom to make less confussing and it kept doing a new thread? Sorry about that

Most likely the child is not yours, but stranger things have happened. You are now playing the waiting game. You have to wait until the child is born to have a DNA test done.