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-   Marriage (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=197)
-   -   Marital commitment (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=718443)

  • Nov 21, 2012, 07:10 PM
    MixedSignals
    Marital commitment
    Is it wrong to stay with the kind husband whom you no longer love for commitment's sake?
  • Nov 21, 2012, 07:58 PM
    Wondergirl
    How long have you been married?

    Why do you want to leave the marriage?
  • Nov 24, 2012, 12:55 AM
    MixedSignals
    10 years. He says he doesn't make me happy, which is true. But he's kind and a good person. He never hurt me either. But for 10 years I feel I haven't really lived at all. Nothing happened. We are childless. Then I met somebody who made me feel I'm alive. It's not that I'd like to jump into his arms at once. I just feel it's unfair to my husband to be living a life with a wife who doesn't love him as much as he does her. And he himself told me to just say so if I don't love him anymore and he would let me go. But my conscience does not let me. And I'm afraid I'd regret my decision in the end.
  • Nov 24, 2012, 01:01 AM
    Wondergirl
    Have you two made any effort to repair your marriage? -- counseling, marriage support group, a special date night, an interesting vacation? If you feel bored and useless (no children), why not volunteer at a hospital or an animal shelter or a nursing home? That will give you interesting stories to share with him and help your connection.

    The "fire" you are feeling for this other man may not last, especially if you would get a divorce and marry him. Like you say, you might be throwing out a good thing. How about doing some work to find out how good your marriage can be?
  • Nov 24, 2012, 06:28 AM
    MixedSignals
    Thanks for the advice. We do take vacations and we're both quite busy with work and social activities. We've been talking about our "situation" since last year and thought of trial separation. But neither of us would want to be the first to move out. Anyway, yeah, I want to seek some professional help. I don't want to make decisions which I would regret later in life. Thanks again.

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