My fiancé passed away 8 months ago and I'm back to where I started
I am severely depressed.. I can never get to sleep till 4 am. When I wake up I lay in bed for an hour then do nothing with my day all day. I try my hardest because I have a 3 year old with him but I am failing as a person and am feeling like I'm letting our son down. I can't help myself I am so hopeless and feel like everyday I am constantly spiraling out of control. My life has no meaning and I live it because I have to.. I tried seeing someone else but it hurt even more to realise I will never have the love and comfort I did with my fiancé. I am so lost without him.. he was my savor, my strength.. I have always had depression in my life and he was the one to get me out of bed every morning and get my day started.. I have tried talking to grief counsolors and stopped because it seemed like a waste of money.. I tried talking to my family doctor but he is beyond a head case himself.. Last night I sat up for over 5 hours watching family videos and haven't been able to stop crying.. I have not been this low since he passed away and now I have no idea how to pick myself up anymore... I have lost who I am and how to keep my life in control... How do you ever feel okay after losing the love of your life? Because I've tried but haven't even had an okay day yet...