My girlfriend and I have been sexually involved for over a year. We started as a friends with benefits thing but for the past 6 months we’ve been dating very seriously. Before me she had been in a relationship that was on and off for 3 years, and before we dated she told me they used to blow through the boxes of condoms they purchased when they were together.

When we were friends with benefits we had sex all the time and started to become really close. But at a certain point (around when we came out that we had feelings) she started to shake at the end of each session, and I could tell something was up. She told me she was just REALLY nervous. She said there's no reason, she just is. This led us having less and less sex to the point where now it’s been almost 3 weeks without intercourse.

I’ve tried my best to be a gentleman and I’ve told her that I don’t want to if she doesn’t want to, and that’s still true. But it kills me knowing that my girlfriend, the person who took my virginity and the only person I can imagine myself being with doesn’t feel comfortable with me. I NEED help getting her to feel better! Any advice?

If you're absolutely sure she doesn't know the cause of her anxiety, and if she's on birth control, I'd look there. Birth control could be affecting her hormones to the point where it causes weird behavior. Such as, anxiety.

In short, I'd have her talk to her doctor.

There are so many reasons a girl stops having sex once in a relationship.

She could be worried about pregnancy. She could feel that now that she has you, she no longer has to put out. She could have anxiety issues.

I agree with Slapshot, it's time to rule out the physical by seeing a doctor. If all goes well there, then perhaps it's time for her to seek therapy and figure out where her issues are coming from.

Above all, be patient. It doesn't sound like she's doing this to hurt you, or punish you. It sounds like something is going on, that she herself doesn't understand. Keep supporting her, and try to get this resolved the best you can.

Good luck.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

If you're absolutely sure she doesn't know the cause of her anxiety, and if she's on birth control, I'd look there. Birth control could be affecting her hormones to the point where it causes weird behavior. Such as, anxiety.

In short, I'd have her talk to her doctor.

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She recently got on birth control but its been like this before she was on the pill

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alty

There are so many reasons why a girl stops having sex once in a relationship.

She could be worried about pregnancy. She could feel that now that she has you, she no longer has to put out. She could have anxiety issues.

I agree with Slapshot, it's time to rule out the physical by seeing a doctor. If all goes well there, then perhaps it's time for her to seek therapy and figure out where her issues are coming from.

Above all, be patient. It doesn't sound like she's doing this to hurt you, or punish you. It sounds like something is going on, that she herself doesn't understand. Keep supporting her, and try to get this resolved the best you can.

Good luck.

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Thanks! But yea I'm trying to be patient but a guy has his needs. But ill wait as long as she needs

Your bodies have connected, now take time for your mind and souls to connect... if they can.

This is the first test of working together through honest communication and caring and sharing more than just your bodies.

We all are pretty good with that, and is no indication of a long happy future together. Yeah a guy has need, but so do females.

Find what her needs are and if you can meet them.