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-   -   My dad doesn't pay any attention to me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=717996)

  • Nov 19, 2012, 03:38 PM
    janeey
    My dad doesn't pay any attention to me
    When I say he doesn't pay ANY attention to me I mean none whatsoever. I haven't spoke to him face to face in almost two years. I go to his door all the time (as he only lives round the corner) hoping that he'll answer and spend a few minutes with me. You know like he used to, ask me questions about school and laugh and tease me about boyfriends. I remember being so close to him and skving school to go with him to work for a week away in his wagon. Now he doesn't even care. He's got mental health problems but its been much worse in the last few years. I miss him so much and no one understands. My mum hates him for what he's done to me and my younger brother and says stuff like "you dont need him ", and "why do you want to see HIM?!" , she just doesn't understand. Ive tried everything, I've even climbed over his back gate to persuade him to come over to mine for christmas. I shouted that it was me but he just ignored it. The last thing he bought me was 3 christmas' ago. Im sorry if I'm going on abit it just feels good to get it all out. Im so sick of being treated like this, and I know nothing will ever get my old dad back. He never answers texts or his door. How can I get him too see me, I miss him so much. I feel like doing something stupid ,so he has to realise what he's lost. Even then I don't think it would get through to him. I hate him so much now, I try to tell myself I don't care about him but I worry all the time. All I want is for him to be normal, maybe just send me a text asking how I am. No one understands how I'm feeling, not even my brother as he was just a baby when he went weird. Help me get him to listen to me, its almost christmas and I really want to see him even for 5 minutes. Please
  • Nov 19, 2012, 03:46 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    It appears from your own statement that he has mental health issues, HE does not want to see you at this point, doing something stupid, is just stupid and will not get his attention, in fact it may even show to him, he is right.

    You do nothing, stop climbing over his fence ( that is stupid also) If you want, perhaps once a week go to the door and knock. Leave him a letter or note.

    But you have to just accept he will not talk to you at this point.
  • Nov 19, 2012, 03:51 PM
    Wondergirl
    Do you know what his mental health problems are?
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:08 PM
    janeey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    It appears from your own statement that he has mental health issues, HE does not want to see you at this point, doing something stupid, is just stupid and will not get his attention, in fact it may even show to him, he is right.

    You do nothing, stop climbing over his fence ( that is stupid also) If you want, perhaps once a week go to the door and knock. leave him a letter or note.

    But you have to just accept he will not talk to you at this point.
    Doing something stupid will prove he is right. What exactly is he right about, I really don't get that. You can't tell me what he is doing is right. Also why should I stop trying he is my dad and always will be. I climbed over his fence as a last resort. One minute he was the one I was saying no to. Like any other teenager , I found him embarrassing. The next minute he was like this. Your telling me to accept it and move on? As I stated no one understands.
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:10 PM
    janeey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Do you know what his mental health problems are?
    I'm not sure ,although I think it was caused by drugs. He's really paranoid. I think the name of the mental issue began with s? I'm really not sure.
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:15 PM
    Wondergirl
    Schizophrenia?

    Have you ever heard of the Beatles?
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:16 PM
    janeey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Schizophrenia?

    Have you ever heard of the Beatles?
    Yes that's it, he has a few others too. Yes I've heard of them, why would that matter?
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:18 PM
    Wondergirl
    How do you know about the names of his issues? Has he been formally diagnosed?
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:21 PM
    janeey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    How do you know about the names of his issues? Has he been formally diagnosed?
    Yes, he's been sectioned a few times too. He used to hit my mum, he's never touched me though.
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:22 PM
    Wondergirl
    So you do understand that he is mentally unable to reach out to others, right?
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:26 PM
    janeey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    So you do understand that he is mentally unable to reach out to others, right?
    No, he was diagnosed years before he stopped wanting to see me. He was always over affectionate, always wanting to see me. He had it then at the worst. He was hyper then,but id rather have him that way then the way he is now
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:27 PM
    Wondergirl
    Is he taking meds from a doctor?
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:31 PM
    janeey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Is he taking meds from a doctor?
    Yes, I'm sure there's quite a few. In fact if I'm correct they changed them because of the way he was acting before. Do you think he'll ever be a little better. I know I'm never going to get my old dad back. I just mean maybe go out a little more and make an effort to see me?
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:33 PM
    Wondergirl
    The main problem is that he takes them at the right time and in the right amount. If he does that, he can be more like the old dad you used to know.

    He lives alone?
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:36 PM
    janeey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    The main problem is that he takes them at the right time and in the right amount. If he does that, he can be more like the old dad you used to know.

    He lives alone?
    Yes, I try and see him but he never lets me in. I remember going to his house, I remember he seemed always in a rush to get me out. I think he has like a this woman doctor type thing who goes to see him sometimes. Like to prescribe him difo meds and stuff. Im also pretty sure he takes all his meds, well he used to anyway.
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:37 PM
    Wondergirl
    Write him a short note and mail it to him.
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:41 PM
    janeey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Write him a short note and mail it to him.
    I've tried texting him and everything. Even just little things not even asking to see him, stuff like "heya how are you", he doesn't text back. Anyway thanks for all your help. Im thinking about having a word with my aunt (his sister) about maybe talking to his doctor , like asking if she thinks he is on the right meds. Im wiling to try anything. Thank you so much
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:42 PM
    Wondergirl
    Let us know what you find out.
  • Nov 19, 2012, 04:44 PM
    janeey
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Let us know what you find out.
    OK, thanks :)

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