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-   -   How young is to young (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=717713)

  • Nov 18, 2012, 08:19 AM
    blackrose2012
    How young is to young
    I have a friend she is only 16 years old but she is in love with this guy who is 19, he is amazing to her and loves her and takes care of her amazingly but he asked her to marry him is that to young to get married or is it up to her and her parents?
  • Nov 18, 2012, 08:42 AM
    Curlyben
    As long as BOTH parties are ADULTS then it's fine, otherwise there are serious legal objections.
  • Nov 18, 2012, 08:45 AM
    blackrose2012
    OK if the familys are OK with it is it OK because she is 16 and he is 19?
  • Nov 18, 2012, 08:47 AM
    Curlyben
    Really depends on your location and local/state/federal laws.
    The majority of teen marriages end in failure.
  • Nov 18, 2012, 08:50 AM
    blackrose2012
    Yes and it also ends up as a leson lernt to
  • Nov 18, 2012, 08:53 AM
    ScottGem
    In most areas (ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area) a minor cannot get married without parental consent.

    What you don't say is how long they have been together. While I believe 16 is too young to get married, it may not be too young to get engaged. But the real key is how long the couple have known each other.
  • Nov 18, 2012, 08:55 AM
    blackrose2012
    They been together for 5 years
  • Nov 18, 2012, 08:56 AM
    Wondergirl
    Location?
  • Nov 18, 2012, 09:01 AM
    blackrose2012
    Grand manan new bruswick canada
  • Nov 18, 2012, 09:07 AM
    Wondergirl
    So what about further education for this girl -- finishing high school, college or vocational training, travel, socializing?
  • Nov 18, 2012, 11:04 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by blackrose2012 View Post
    they been together for 5 years

    So they have been together since he was 14 and she 11? Then I think it's a mistake. She has probably known no other boyfriend. She has no basis for comparison. She started dating too young and committed herself too young. If she married him, there will always be doubts in the back of both their minds that they had no other experience.

    If you had told me they had been together about 2 years that would be a different story. But they need to cool it and expand their experiences to be sure.
  • Nov 20, 2012, 02:52 PM
    blackrose2012
    She's in high school still she's finishing school and going to callage after for beauti
  • Nov 20, 2012, 03:07 PM
    Alty
    http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&...Tn4zridWnpQ-0g

    In New Brunswick anyone over the age of 18 can get married. Your friend, who is 16, can get married with her parents consent.

    Having said that, I don't understand what the rush is. Why can't they at least wait until she's 18?
  • Nov 20, 2012, 03:16 PM
    dontknownuthin
    So she started "dating" this boy when she was 11? This sounds like a really inappropriate situation. Location does make a difference because in some parts of the world young marriage is the norm and there aren't a lot of other options for teenage girls. However, if she's European or American, it is a really bad decision because marrying so young will cut her out of ALL of the good options for her future. No matter where she is, she should not get married this young if she can avoid it. She is better off to get an education and wait until her boyfriend is older as well and they can both work for good incomes to support themselves comfortably, and afford a home and afford to support any children who might result from their marriage.

    The teenage idea of a boy "taking care of" and treating a girl well is very different than the adult ideal. Does he have a job and a home that he's paying for independently? Do they each have a car? Do they have means to support themselves and access medical care and dental care and car insurance and renters insurance, etc. without help from their parents or others? Can they afford to pay for all their own clothing, food, heat, electric, phone bill, gas for the car?

    Very few people even in their early 20s are able to support themselves without considerable help from parents and in my view, if you aren't independent, you aren't ready to get married. It's about a lot more than romance - it's about taking a huge degree of adult responsibility as marriage is the start of another family. If you can't support yourself, how can you start a family?

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