Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   What should I do. To get my love back? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=71669)

  • Mar 13, 2007, 12:53 PM
    Stunning07
    What should I do. To get my love back?
    We have been best friends for four years, and two years of that we have been going out.. the last four months I quit paying attention to her.. just got too use to the relationship I guess... I admit it was my fault I should have never done what I did... I broke up w/ her about two months ago... and came back two weeks later right after I realised what I lost.. but I never stopped talking to her... for the past months and a half I've been showing her how much she means to me... I basically found all the mistakes I made and corrected them.. now she's been going out a lot with her girls has been getting so much attention from other guys... she tells me she loves me... but wants time? She says she has so much on her plate? And does not have time for a boyfriend... what does this mean? All she does is go out now... and has the same things to deal w/ when we were going out... I'm really confused and hurting its like she brings me hope... when we hang out because she acts the same way as if we were going out and tells me that she loves me... but when were not together she does't care! Its just crazy.. she does talk to me when I want to talk to her... and also does not get mad like other girls would... she won't ignore me if I want to see her, or talk to her... I'm so confused
  • Mar 13, 2007, 01:41 PM
    jonjons1girl
    Just give it sometime and show her how she makes you feel. Show her how you have learned and changed. She should come around. Most of the time when I hear things like this with other couples they end up back together and its just a matter of time before there routine is back. Good luck.
  • Mar 13, 2007, 05:37 PM
    Stunning07
    Thanks for the advice means a lot... but I just don't know should I leave her alone... still be her friend? quit talking to her..
  • Mar 13, 2007, 05:48 PM
    tinsign
    First here's a hug.. hugs always make people feel better.. next thing is give it time but do prepare she might not want to be involved again.. show that this change is just not temporary.. but PLEASE don't just wait on her you must also keep living and enjoy life it is to short not to... years creep up on us faster than we want and then we say I should have lived life and not wasted it sitting and hatching the house waiting on a person.
  • Mar 13, 2007, 06:06 PM
    phoenix1664
    I agree with tinsign you can't put your life on hold I may not be experienced but I put my life on hold for someone who never came back. Live your life but don't lose touch she might come around just don't lay your life on it.

    Hope it works out for you.
  • Mar 13, 2007, 06:13 PM
    JoeCanada76
    Do not do anything. Time to live your life.

    Joe
  • Mar 14, 2007, 05:12 AM
    talaniman
    Don't be confused She may not be mad, but forget going back to the way things where. That's over with and you should get on with your life without her.
  • Mar 14, 2007, 03:26 PM
    Stunning07
    Yes I know live life and let go... its so much easier said than done... I try so hard but there's something missing I know "time heals pain" but... what should I do about her? Just let go?. don't call her don't text, email... than what if one day she says it was my fault... that I did't try hard enough.. Would it be a good idea if I do the same as she does me... only talk to her when she needs me or calls me? That's all don't show no more affection?
  • Mar 14, 2007, 05:08 PM
    Jiser
    You must let go now and work on yourself. You ended it and your ex obviously wants to live a little now. Its her problem not yours if she says "that you didnt try hard enough!" You must block her completely, phone/msn/myspace the lot! Take down all reminders, hide away those MP3s you both listening to. Maybe put them some place you can open one day, if you can look at them and feel happy - then only then are you most likely healed. Pandoras box!

    Gym, friends, keep yourself busy all the time, it will suck when your alone but soon your have more good days than bad.

    Space will do wonders for you both as will no contact. She's not dead and never say never that you won't meet again.

    Its called life. The only constant in it is change. Yeh it sux big time. But you move on from experiances and put them on your back with the rest of them. It adds to you as a person, makes you stronger and more able to live life. I certainly have a new outlook on life since I loved and lost.
  • Mar 15, 2007, 10:53 AM
    Stunning07
    Well I guess its time for me to let go... yesterday I asked her straight up just to tell me what she wants she told me she wants to be single at this time.. it hurts so bad but I got to suck it up now... I hope she'll come around one day
  • Mar 15, 2007, 11:57 AM
    TarynAlane
    It's hard and it's never easy-they say they want space and the more you try to give the less and less you seem to be able to hold yourself together. Everything reminds you of them and you just wish that the next time the phone rings it's them saying I love you I want to be with you,but lets face the facts the chances of that happening are slim to none that it won't happen like that and it will be awhile for it to happen! You need to realize that pain may seem like it is there forever, but you have to smile through it because if you don't you just might forget how. Go out with her be her friend but don't dwell on that which time can only heal. Yeah for the first few weeks your not going to know how to do this but call a friend instead of her-give it lets say 3 days without you calling her... then ask her to the movies and keep a routine like this up if that's what you want, it's really up to you. But don't keep reopening a wound that hasn't had time to heal... I did that for over a year and it will change you... best of luck and we are all here for you!
  • Mar 15, 2007, 12:12 PM
    Stunning07
    Yes its so hard your so right... I guess I need to let her be do what she's got to do... I did't treat her that wrong, I treated her good the worst part of all is that I lost my best friend... that's the most hurtful part the person I never assumed that was going to just leave like that... no pain no game like they say... I got to start to play my cards right let her be... she'll come back my heart says but not soon maybe a few weeks or months... ill be waiting for that day.. but ill still enjoy my life :D

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:26 AM.