Hi I was wondering if you could help. I've been seeing a girl now for 17 months and its been going great. We have been on holiday together and where about to go to the uk to. But just over a week ago she broke it off. I didn't see it coming at all we had a spat while out over something stupid I appologised straight away but she would not talk to me. After a few hours I went into her to ask if she wanted good. She said no and that she wanted space and that we will talk after I come back from working away. I was heart broken but left, the next day I went back to get some stuff she was on bed and I asked her how her night went. She replied fine love then when I asked if we could talk before I go away she said not now babe I am really tiered. I said that I need to no though and it was not fair. She said we are my working and I don't want you around, there are things that are annoying me about you, an that its over. I felt as though my world had come to an end. I said what about the uk and the lease and she said I don't know to the first and she would sort out he lease.

The next day I went back to the house to grab a few things she was still there and hadn't gone to work. She said she had a cracking head ache an called in sick. We ended up talking and I said that did she want to loose me and she said no. But she did say she can't see where this relationship is going and I replied who can life is an adventure and you have to take the rough with the smooth. She also said that there is problems but when I asked her she couldn't name any. I ain't the most cleanest person but I do everything I can to please her. When I left I got another hug and all the time she kept referring to me as love. She also said she would go and get a game I pre odrered. She also said that its not she does not love me its just that there is problems. What the hell should I do? I've not spoke to her since and let her have her space. Is it the end and I have to face facts or is there hope?

There is definitely hope!! That is if you want to be in a relationship with a game player who is only thinking of herself. That is a recipe for certain heart break in your future.

Move on. Find someone who is decent and who treats you well. Just because that person doesn't come along in a week or month doesn't mean you have to settle for a game player. Life is too short to deal with people like that.

Hi thanks for the advice, well she finally messages me saying she wants to meet on Saturday, but the message she sent seemed very cold and really short. So I guess I will have my answers then. But what do you mean a game player?? I don't full understand that concept?

Seeker,

Humans remain the most unstable of creatures. You see most humans require a sense of stability and structure in their lives and despite what most believe, humans are in search of their purpose.

There are two ways in which human may find purpose. The first is obeying our social agents and living life according to the way things have always been done. Or we make our own path and question our existence.

Your friend or lover cannot leave you alone because she has no one else whom she has spent as much time with and has known in the way that she has known you. She knows who you are and the extent of your life. She has become stable and some what comfortable with you because she knows what to expect from you. However this realization is not what she want for her life and her journey thus she makes a statement such as I do not see where this is going.

In essence she is saying I do not see where this is going "with you.... "

Unless you can help her on her journey to find her purpose and join her in her quest there is no hope, because once she finds someone else she will surely leave you alone.

Guardian

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Originally Posted by GuardianofTime

Seeker,

Humans remain the most unstable of creatures. You see most humans require a sense of stability and structure in their lives and despite what most believe, humans are in search of their purpose.

There are two ways in which human may find purpose. The first is obeying our social agents and living life according to the way things have always been done. Or we make our own path and question our existence.

Your friend or lover cannot leave you alone because she has no one else whom she has spent as much time with and has known in the way that she has known you. She knows who you are and the extent of your life. she has become stable and some what comfortable with you because she knows what to expect from you. however this realization is not what she want for her life and her journey thus she makes a statement such as I do not see where this is going.

In essence she is saying I do not see where this is going "with you.... "

Unless you can help her on her journey to find her purpose and join her in her quest there is no hope, because once she finds someone else she will surely leave you alone.

Guardian

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Yes well I have just found out she is on a dating website already so yes it is over but I thank you am for the comments.

As I thought... I am sorry.

There will be more

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GuardianofTime

As I thought... I am sorry.

There will be more

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Yes there will be her friends can't believe she has done this, an neither can her sister (whom I talk to). I hope she gets screwed around by every single guy she meets on there. I am still going to meet her on Saturday but what ever she says is going to be a lie. I can't believed that I believe her with all the she said that she loved me and so forth.

Don't hate your ex. Look at my quotes. Don't hold onto anger towards her as you two shared many happy times.

Unfortunately change is the only constant of life and she doesn't want to do it with you.

My advise?
Get all her things and give them to a mutual friend / family to give to her or arrange a place where you can drop things off. Then make a clean break. Go no contact. Remove all reminders, songs, posters, clothes, anything which reminds you of her and stuff it in a bag, trash or sell it. Any reminders you have left will bring up pain. Trust me I am going through it to.

Also remove her number to stop late night drunken texts, remove her Facebook, email.

Then go no contact for your emotional state is not great. Keep yourself really busy and make an effort to exercise, eat and sleep well. Try to not wallow at home but also allow yourself to accept the pain. When a breakup happens its scientifically proven to actually hurt and will do. Your brain, your body is addicted to them.

In time the pain will go, in time your be in a better place to look back, in time maybe you two can rectify your issues or talk again - until you can honestly say to yourself you haven't thought about her for a while. And you know what, betime your actually prepared to talk to her you both would have moved on.

Ive been through a few breakups now. I recovered through time and no contact. Sure I still think of the first one, my first love but we were to young, we had different things going on in our lives. The best thing you can do which I am? I keep myself busy, I don't wallow, I talk about things on the internet and with people, my colleagues, my family. Iam making an effort to do things I enjoy and to meet new people. You should to.