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He was very nice to me all the time. On the phone or by text messages he was short with me. But in person he always looked interested in me. There is a catch, I'm married but he knew not happy. So why did he run away from me? Yet if he still sees me it seems he still likes me for some reason.
I am guessing English is not your primary language because your question does not make a lot of sense, but I am trying to figure it out. If I have this right, you have a crush on a man who has four children. You have been helping him. When you are with him in person he gives you the impression that he has romantic feelings for you. By text he seems distant. It sounds like he's not in your life any more. You also said you are married to someone else. I think he appreciated your help and enjoyed your company, but since you are married he is trying to respect your marriage and be appropriate. You should not be concerned with how some man who's not your husband feels about you. Your attention should be on your marriage. If you aren't going to make your marriage work, at least have the decency to get divorced before you start shopping for a new man. Your behavior is not appropriate.
I totally agree dontknownuthin...Quote:
Originally Posted by dontknownuthin
He probably ran because you are married, which is a wise thing to do
Yes, married women, perhaps OK for an affair or sex, but not a relationship.
Next does not matter if the kids like you, he was a fool for allowing a married women around his kids, poor moral example
Your right my question looks crazy cause I could't fix it. I had already hit submit. Don't know how to fix it. Trying to figure that out. Well here is what I was trying to ask. So met this man, he came up to me, we started talking and of course Im a great person who puts everyone in front of myself, so I started to listen to him. Are daughter's became friends so from that we started becoming good friends. Started shareing are problems with each other. As time moved on his other kids started getting att. To me. Yes I agree about being married that I shouldn't have gotten involved. But him and I never crossed any boundries. Just are friends. His one daughter started telling me her little issues of her mom leaving them all. Of course from there I couldn't stop helping him with his kids. Cause he is a single dad. But just this Tuesday I realized I had to step away, when I went to pick up his daughter, his son was crying so bad so I had to take him with me too. Soo to make a long story short. On Sat. Night I decided to tell him he needs to find a nice lady friend for his kids cause there missing one in there life. He agreed to that. But I wanted are daughters to still be friends cause they don't understand. But now Im not sure how I really felt about him and the other kids till now. Can't stop thinking about them. Not sure if he ever had any feelings for me cause we never showed it. Not threw text or phone. But in person you could tell the two of us had something with each other. So I'm just confussed and need help.Quote:
Originally Posted by Berry33
No read my last reply he didn't run I did.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
I had hit submit before I could fix the question. That was not what I wanted to write.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
Wow nice reply, OK for sex or affair. But run cause she is married. Good one. I ran from him not the other way around cause besides my daughters friends with one of his kids. I didn't feel right that the other kids started to get to att. To me.
His kids are hungry for a mom and you fill the bill.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundscrazy
Maybe you and he are just friends (or do you want more?). Is he dating anyone?
Yes we are just friends. But about his kids that's why I felt it was time to pull away. I also got att. To them as well. So that's why I told him I was going to only text him when are daughters want to hang out. But now that I did that Im hurting, I didn't even no I had feeling for him till now. So that's my real question is what do I do cause I am married but this man and I have never crossed bounderies. Cause Im married. Not sure if he ever felt anything for me. We never showed it by touch. But in person it seems there is something more.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
As much as it will confuse the kids, in order to save your own sense of fidelity and your marriage, back off and let him figure out how to find a mom for his kids.
Because you are married you need to stay away from him. No sense in playing with fire. What is the state of your marriage?
So now here is what I really was going to type but did it all wrong from before. Ok, so this summer me this single dad. His daughter and mine became really good friends. So him and I did also. As we saw each other we started telling each other are problems. He knows I'm married so him and I have never crossed any boundries. As time keeps going on now his other kids are att. To me also. How it started is cause the one daughter who is always with me, started talking to me. There mother moved away and just left them. So from there I also got att. To his other three kids. But, Just this Tuesday I went to pick up his daughter and his son wanted to come with me and was crying so bad I felt I had to take him with me. After I took him home I new it was time to do something. So sat. After I dropped of his daughter I told him from this point on I would only text him about are daughters. But I have realized I am hurting I do have feelings for him and I love all the rest of his kids as well. Im so confussed I need help.
Yes that's why I did just Sat. Night. But are daughters are close friends. Don't want them to end there friendship. But not until today did I realize I have feelings for him and I do love his kids too. That's why I need help Im confussed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Here is the crazy thing my husband and I are married for 15 yrs. We have been rocky since march. He has been trying to change. 100% Italian need I say anything else with how they treat there wives... but I don't hide anything he knows this man and I are friends. But now doesn't no I have feelings for him but I don't even no if this man has feelings for me. Cause were just friends. This is why Im so confussed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
Maybe you have feelings because feelings are lacking in your marriage. You say your husband is trying, are you trying?
You could be right cause he always threw me into pieces. Never made me feel good about myself. I have asked my husband what I can work on for him. His respond to that was you need to get fat again. That's what would make him happy. So of course Im better then that so now I joined a health club to get in better shape. Cause he will never degrade me anymore. But I think the only reason why he is trying is cause he knows about this friend of mine. My life is everywhere right now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
So you are not working on your marriage? Have you guys tried counseling?
No, but your right Im not working on it. That's prob. Shoddy on my end. Not sure what's going on in my head. But I can tell you this I love the person Im becoming. So does everyone else. But I can also say that my friend told me he never met a woman who hate complements, does everything for everyone else but herself. He would love to kick all the peoples butts who have messed with my head. I told him being 100% Italian its standered. My dad was the same man. Uncles, mother in law and so on. So my friend has helped me find myself again the only person who love it is. My oldest daughter. Who is 11. My other two are still small. My oldest doent understand why her dad, my sister, and her grandma (my mom) don't like who I am today as a person. So I asked her what she thought of me? Her respond was ( mom you look so pretty and all my friends tell me how to how pretty you are) why does papa want you fat and ugly? I try to not explain too much cause she is just a kid and its her dad, aunt and grandma. So I want her to love and respect them. But kids today are not stupid.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
Maybe for feeling on top of the world today as a person. Could be the wrong thing. But I feel great, since I was 14yrs old I just grew up never believing in myself. I only were the color black to not be noticed.
Maybe with my male friend I grew feeling for him because of how he helped me refind myself. As well as I helped him. But didn't realize that I felt something for him till now that I let him go cause I didn't want to confuse his kids. They love me too much. Prob. As much as I love them about there not my kids. Not even sure he has or had feeling for me. He prob. Just liked me as a person who he told me everything. You no like a best friend. Felt safe with cause Im married and I didn't take over his life like other women would.
Not that you asked but "Are" is a form of "to be" as in, "you are here". The word you want for "belonging to us" is "our". "Threw" means "tossed" as in, "I threw the ball". You wanted the word "through". I am not correcting you to sound all high and mighty, but hey - you might send an email to a potential job some day and I hope it will help you to learn this.
As for your problem, well, it's pretty much still the same situation. He's not going to indicate through text or otherwise any romantic feelings for you. You are married. I think the appropriate relationship between the two of you, if any, is as parents of kids who are friends. Invite the kids to play sometimes at your house to help him out by giving him a break, and let your kids play at his house some times. There should be no friendship between you and the dad because you are starting to have feelings for him which are detrimental to your marriage.
I'm not sure what you need help with really. I think you already know there is no other option but to be friendly but not friends, to make it about the kids' friendship with each other and to focus on your marriage.
I also think you moved a little too fast in stepping into an apparent mommy role in this family. Kids DO get attached quickly to adults who provide them with love and care, particularly if they aren't getting enough of what they need due to an absent parent. This is why wise single parents do not introduce their love interests to their children until and unless they know there is a serious commitment in the relationship. What the kids need to see between you and their father are appropriate boundaries, which means they see that the relationship between the families is basically "our kid are friends" and that the adults are neighborly, but you are not family with one another.
I think you are enjoying the company and compliments from this man and that may be why you have feelings for him. You need to keep your distance though.
You also need to think about counseling, if not for your marriage, to decide what you want to do about your marriage.
Thank you very much you are right. Everything you wrote me is true. I did answer my own guestion I quess. Cause I new it was wrong. But I quess it should't matter if I would invite his other kids for a play date. I didn't think about that. I love all of his kids. I just need to keep myself away from him. Sorry for not writeing proper sometimes I don't thing before I type. Thanks for all your advice it really helped. : )Quote:
Originally Posted by dontknownuthin
Thank you, your right I do need help. I will keep my distance from him cause Im not a cheater. But when women are stupid and vulnerable we do stupid things and regret it afterwards. And as many times as I went to his house I never stepped foot inside. Every time I had a conversation with him I made him come outside. Even talking to his mom I never went inside, I also made her come outside. I no I made the right decision. But it hurts I feel like I lost my best friend. I will let are daughter's stay friends and when I have a play date I can invite his other two kids also what's wrong with that. It would give him a break and I can spend time with them. Were friends the kids shouldn't have to suffer.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
Thank you very much you are right. Everything you wrote me is true. I did answer my own guestion I quess. Cause I new it was wrong. But I quess it should't matter if I would invite his other kids for a play date. I didn't think about that. I love all of his kids. I just need to keep myself away from him. Sorry for not writeing proper sometimes I don't thing before I type. Thanks for all your advice it really helped. : )
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