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-   -   My father hates me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=715982)

  • Nov 11, 2012, 06:04 PM
    Diddy bob
    My father hates me
    My father hates me I try my best to impress him but he just ignores me
    I get good grades I take care of my pet and I act respectful and use my manners
    And I know u will say he loves me deep down with all his heart but he just doesn't and I have talked to him before but he tells me to go away because he is working or he's busy and once after school I didn't come home for 3 hours and I don't even think he noticed I was gone
    Ps deep down I know he loves me but I think he's scared to show it
  • Nov 11, 2012, 07:06 PM
    dontknownuthin
    It sounds to me like your father can't express his feelings. This is not about you or anything you do or could do, or don't do or shouldn't do. This is about what he has the capacity to say and do to show his love.

    Sometimes somebody just has to take the first step. Do you tell your dad that you love him, or show him your love for him in other ways? Ideally the adult should take the lead in these things, but some people can't because it was never said to them. Maybe you could just tell him some time, "you know Dad, I know we don't usually say things like this to each other, but I seriously want to thank you for everything you do for me. I really appreciate it, and I hope you know I love youIf you can't say it out loud, maybe you could write it in a blank card for Christmas. He might not be able to say it back so don't do this with an expectation of hearing it back or getting something back. Just figure, if he doesn't say these things, he probably needs to hear them more.

    Your dad shows his love for you by taking responsibility for your needs - the work he does to support the family is probably the way he was taught to express his love.
  • Nov 11, 2012, 07:14 PM
    odinn7
    My father was similar. He just wasn't brought up in a way to show affection. I didn't really understand it when I was a kid, I do now. It doesn't make it right, but that's just how he was. I can say though, that I used that as an example of how not to be with my kid. I look back at it and I don't want my daughter to experience that. I learned from it... you can too.

    Anyway, because he acts this way to you, doesn't mean he hates you. He probably just can't show you.
  • Nov 11, 2012, 08:59 PM
    joypulv
    At your age, you aren't really aware of the worries of your parents, in this case your father. Did your mother die or did your parents divorce? He might be having a lot of financial concerns, or relationship ones. His business might be suffering, because right now almost all businesses are. He probably doesn't want to tell you. Most parents don't. They want to provide for their children. You have a roof over your head, food on the table, even a pet. Twice a day say 'hi dad' and once in a while say 'off to school, I love you!' And leave it at that. There's no need to overtly impress him - he IS proud of you.

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