 |
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years now and when ever I get really stressed out I seem to always take it out on my boyfriend and cause a fat argument between us. We get to the point that after we've argued about it he ignores me for days even if its over the most stupidest things and I don't know what to do to stop it? When he starts ignoring me I start feeling really insecure and feeling like he's cheating on me.
I have a few questions here.
How old are you two? When did this stress take place?
What is causing you stress?
Do you have some type of release?
Is it only your boyfriend that you take it out on, or others as well?
Unfortunately if things don't change, he will fall into the arms of another or just leave you all together. He ignores you because he doesn't want to feel bothered by you or belittled.
We're both 17, it's been going on for a few weeks now.
Looking after my baby brother all the time is what's causing me a lot off the stress.
No I don't.
It only seems to be my boyfriend that I take it out on.
I know that if things don't change he'll just leave me and I don't want him too, I want to try and stop taking my stress out on him and I want to find another way to get rid off my stress
How are your grades in school? How often do you watch your brother, and for how long at a time? What activities or hobbies do you have? How often do you see your boyfriend?
I know I am asking a lot of questions, I just need you to paint me a picture so that have a better understanding.
We've left school, he's in college now doing a mechanics course, I have him 5 days a week from about 7.30 in the morning till 4.30-5ish. I don't really have any activities or hobbys I am a young leader at girl guides but that's about it. Mainly the weekends only but occasionally Mondays and Wednesdays as well.
Well you seem to be very mature for a 17 year-old.
Do you think perhaps you may be taking on too much at this time?
How would you feel about seeing him less often? Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe if you saw him less, you would cherish the time you two have together?
Another thing I strongly believe you should do is find a good release. Whether it be painting, drawaing, going to the gym, playing an instrument, or even writing in a journal. I find that when I am stressed, I go to the gym. I take my frustrations out on the bag. Or I will lift weights.
Are there things that he is doing to fuel this? Or is it a situation where as soon as you see him, you immediately take it out on him?
I don't know what you can do to stop it but you need to find a way somehow. What I can tell you is that habit is going to ruin your relationship. I had someone do this to me. It was tough to deal with. Anything that went wrong in her life suddenly made me the emotional punching bag for her to get relief. It ate at me until I just didn't want to deal with it any longer. He will get to that point too.
OK lyk 4real!. listen I'm about a yr younger than you and I can str8t up tell you that you are going to lose your boyfriend by taken your anger out on him all the time.. and JUST him at that. You should find something to do when you feel stress. Like writing poems or keeping a journal or video diary, you know? Find a way to vent out the way you feel.
Wait a minute wait a minute! Hold the phone...Quote:
Originally Posted by odinn7
Odinn, you are a man?
This whole time I thought you were a female.
Ok, sorry to interrupt OP's question.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enigma1999
Silly... you're the only one that thought that. :p
Here I thought you were a saucy girl like me! LolQuote:
Originally Posted by odinn7
I think it's natural to feel anxiety for you because it sounds like your life is not moving forward at a time that's all about making a huge transition. Your peers are deciding which college to go to, planning for graduation, considering the military or trade school, etc. Your boyfriend is moving forward with college and you are home taking care of your younger brother, which is not really your responsibility - except that you are apparently still at home with the family, and you need to do something productive so I can see that your parents would expect this of you, quite reasonably.
It sounds to me like the answer to your anxiety is to figure out what you are going to do about your own future so you feel some sense of control and security in your own life. If you are otherwise engaged in your own life, I'm sure your family can make other arrangements for your brother. They will have to if you aren't available to be the care provider.
I recommend you get serious about getting a GED and start looking into what you might like to do to secure your future. If you are not into school, maybe go meet with a military recruiter, or consider a non-conventional school like beauty school or some other trade, where you can be licensed in a particular profession.
It seems like you're testing your boyfriend in a way - you aren't secure that you can take care of yourself with no qualifications, so you're testing to see if he's there for you for real. The thing is, if he's in college and working and you're doing nothing but watching your brother, he's going to, inevitably, outgrow you and get frustrated that you aren't working on improving your future earning potential with school or training of some kind. And one of these days, he's not going to feel like being tested any more with the "let's just see how much abuse you can take before you leave me" game. He's already drifting from you.
The ball is in your court to determine what you want to do to secure your own future, and be more mature in your relationships with other people.
I too thought odinn was a woman... so odinn are u a man?Quote:
Originally Posted by Enigma1999
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:26 AM. |