Hi my name is Amanda and I live in Virginia. I am 16 years old and want a child so bad but know that I can't take care of it by myself. My dad would kick me out but my mom probably wouldn't care. What do I do?
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Hi my name is Amanda and I live in Virginia. I am 16 years old and want a child so bad but know that I can't take care of it by myself. My dad would kick me out but my mom probably wouldn't care. What do I do?
What do you do?
You WAIT!
If you can't care for a child by yourself, you have no business having one!
Go volunteer at a daycare--take care of kids without being paid! Make sure it's one where they don't make parents keep sick kids home so that you can deal with sick, tired, cranky, no-fun kids too.
Honestly... I'm 32, I'm DYING to have children, and I STILL don't know if I can handle that kind of responsibility. I think you have no idea what you want, but it's probably not REALLY a child.
What else is going on in your life? Why do you want a baby so badly?
Is there any real need to ask what you should do, you already know that, or you wouldn't have asked, you wait until you can take care of a child and afford to bring it up, a baby doesn't stay a baby for long and the demands get bigger as they grow.
Well right now a lot of stuff is going on. My mom has a tumor in her foor and has to have surgery on the 23rd of this month, then she is going to have a cast on for a year, she lives by herself with my little brother and has no car and no one to help her. I live with my dad and she wants me to move in with her to help her but I want to stay with my dad and if I don't go help her then she sas that I don't care about her when I really do. So I just feel like a baby would really help me to grow up and take responsibility and maybe get my mind of off things for a while, plus I just really love kids.Quote:
Originally Posted by Synnen
I would definitely suggest waiting. Having grown up with half-siblings who are considerably younger than myself, I can say that you should most, most, definitely wait.
If you feel that you need to challenge yourself, and become more responsible, I would highly suggest starting with a job, and if you love children, maybe you can apply to a daycare.
Not to mention the price of a child. Everything from diapers to medicine.
There are so many things to consider when it comes to raising a child. You will need to provide at least the basic neccesities... food and clothing. At sixteen years old, its not really likely that you will be able to find a job that will accommodate you as a mother and that will pay you a decent amount. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience. Although I don't have any children, I did begin living on my own at 15, and that was hard enough to manage.
Also, you have so many opportunities, and, not to say that having a child limits you as a person, but it does limit what you will be able to do especially if you are a teenager.
So please reconsider.
-m
Really Manda, if there is a lot of stuff going on, do you think you caould handle pregnancy? Pregnancy has to be as stress free as possible to have a healthy little human. So, obviously, now is not the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by manda16
Here again is the stress issue. Not to mention your age. At your age you are still physically growning. So, your body cannot handle the stress of pregnancy and other outside stressors.Quote:
Originally Posted by manda16
Another stress issue.Quote:
Originally Posted by manda16
Honey, babies do not help you grow up. You need to be grown up before you have a baby. Babies are not born walking or talking, nor do they come with a set of instructions. If you can't handle what is going on with your parents, and your mother's surgery, what makes you think you can handle an innocent infant?Quote:
Originally Posted by manda16
How are you going to handle it when the baby is sick or colicky and cries all night, you feed it, you change it, you rock it, but it still screams. It can't tell you what is wrong, you can only guess. You do everything you can think of, but you have been up for over 24 hours, you are sleepy, tired and frustrated, but that baby will not stop crying. What will you do then?
Are you financially ready for the responsibility at the tender age of 16? Do you have a great paying job that offers insurance and maternity leave? Can you pay for diapers, formula, vaccinations, hospitalization should the child get sick? Please don't tell me you'll go on welfare.
Really, now. How long do you consider a while? Because having a child is a lifetime, not a while. It won't get your mind off things for a while, but make matters worse. Who will raise this baby while you are in school? You cannot, at your age, have a career that will support the expenses of a baby.Quote:
Originally Posted by manda16
But you get to give those kids back to their mothers, right? Have you ever had a sick baby that puked all over you? That you had to keep with you night and day. (Little brothers and sisters don't count)Quote:
Originally Posted by manda16
Hun, at 16 your body is not physically mature enough to handle pregnancy even without the stresses you are going through with your family. Understand that you could give birth to a baby with physical, mental, and/or emotional deformities.
Are you prepared to live with that for the rest of your life?
I knhow exactly how you feel!Quote:
Originally Posted by manda16
I want one to but a side of me knows I could do it and another knows for sure I cant.
But I think do I really want my child with out a dad and go threw what me and my brothers went with my mom.
But I do know what you mean and I couldn't give you an answwer cause I'm in the same position
Why do you want a child? You are only sixteen. If you are wanting a child while you are still so young... then you must feel a lack of love in your life. Is that it? You are not old enough, or mature for a child. They are hard to care for, and very time consuming. I am sorry to hear about the tumor in your mom's foot... I hope everything goes all right with that.
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