She ended it but not for good, I want her, what do I do
Hi Ya
I'm currently going through a really tough spot, to the point where
It's hard to breathe... I'm 25 years old and I met the girl who I
Really think is the one, it just doesn't compare to previous
Relationships, she up until recently said the same thing, other people
Just seem to be together for the sake of being together but we
Genuinely seemed meant to be... However we have now split up and been
On no contact for 5 weeks.
This wonderful girl was a girl I went to school with all those years
Ago, she happened to message me on Facebook this time last year. We
Caught up, she had heard a few things about me from her parents and
Wondered how I was doing. I genuinely just took these convos as a
Catch up an never even thought about her that way. I did realise we
Were very alike which shocked us both because during school we both
Seemed to be very different people.
It turned out that she had been married for little over six months and
Was very unhappy, she said that it was a typical story of every 6
Months for the past 8 years of her relationship with this guy was just
About re-inventing it to try and make it work. I never actually got
Involved, I just used to say things like "that's a shame". Then on the
4th of January, she asked me what I thought a marriage should be, so I
Told her, I told her I think it should be filled with fireworks and
Butterflies everyday and that's what I want. She then said she thinks
She liked me but didn't want to say before now and asked about meeting
Up. I said I didn't think it was a good idea, she said she understood
But then I said on seconds thoughts you never know what you are
Letting pass you by. So we arranged to meet on the following Friday
And the attraction was instantaneous, we ended up doing something we
Have never done before, we had sex on the first "date". And we were
Just so right for each other
Our relationship flourished to the point that she asked when her
Divorce came through "could we get married" I said to her "of course
we can, you are everything I want, but let's take it day by day and
wait for everything to get sorted out"
Things were still going well up until 2 months ago, she was going for
A job interview on the Monday on the Sunday I was driving past her
House and I decided to pop in to wish her luck in a caring way. It
Turns out her Dad was there and he doesn't know about us, so he blew
Up at her not once but three times. Once on the day, the week later
(at her nephews first birthday party, in front of loads of people) and
The third was a week after that (again in front of lots of people). We
Had a few good times since then but she admitted the pressure of a new
Job (she was actually doing two full time jobs) her Nan was dying, her
Dad was saying this would affect the Divorce, the Divorce itself, her
New house mate, trying to sell the house she has with her husband, her
Car, money and having to lead the double life of being with me is
Really getting to her.
She also found out after her break up with her husband that he had
In fact cheated on her 3 times with 3 different women, she found this
Out on the day she left him, it was his "passing shot" to her, this
Clearly affected her badly as her first words when back in my arms
Were "promise me you will never cheat on me" which I know I would not
Do.
As I was saying, one and a half months ago we split up, we didn't
Argue, christ we never have, she said she can't have a relationship
Right now, she has got so much to do and she can't give me what I
Want. She also said I should feel free to see other people because she
Wants me to be happy, she doesn't my life to be ruled by her emotions
Right now. She went on to say she can't trust me and she knows it's
Not my fault it's all in her head, she's not saying never she's saying
Right now it can't work like this, she can't even love me because of
The trust.
We went one week no contact, she then text me asking when was the last
Time I saw an ex of mine, to which I responded "eerrrr two years babe"
And she goes "ok", so I ask what's up, and she says she thought my ex
Had been in my bedroom recently because there was a pic on Facebook, I
Tried to calm her down asking her to look for a date or something. She
Said "see I can't trust you when you are just perfect". The thing is I
Found the pic, it wasn't even on my profile, it was on my exes, she
Went to the extent of looking through my exes pictures and it was some
Way back.
I've now gone 5 weeks with no contact and I have learned things about
Myself, towards the end I acted like I needed the relationship, now I
Know I don't need it. But I do know that I want it, and my problem of
Wanting things sooner rather than later and over-thinking things is
Killing me, what do I do, what do I do to get her back and maybe start
A brand new relationship together.
What do I do??
