My wife's 31year old, unemployed, 'emotionally unhealthy' (OCD, ADD, bi-polar, alcoholic, pot smoker) son has lived in our rented house for last three years rent-free. My wife & I each pay half of all the rent and utilities.

I want him out of our house! There is nothing in writing, like the Lease, with his name on it. He's never paid rent. He's basically a long-term "guest" (gone bad!).

Since I can't evict him, what can I do? A restraining order? Change the locks? Report him to the police as a trespasser?

Thank you for any advise. I'm at my wits end!

Exactly WHO told you you can't evict him anyway? Seriously.. its YOUR house, you very much CAN evict him... depending on where you live you give him the required notice in writing... 30 days most pplaces... 15 days in FLorida... if he hasn't left you go to court and have the eviction enforced and the SHerrifs come and remove him and his stuff... THEN you can change the locks...

Until then the next time he's smoking pot... call the police... if he gets abusive.. call the Police... don't feed him.. keep no food in the house and let him starve...

He is legally a month to month tenant...

Is your wife signed on the lease? If so, then you can't evict without your wife's permission.

Thanks for the answers. I'm still a bit confused whether my son-in-law is actually a tenant or a guest.

He has never paid a dime of rent or utilities and has never offered to. (He's never been asked to pay anything either since it was originally only a short-term temporary living arrangement) Doesn't this make him a guest?

I'd prefer not to have to go through the whole eviction process. It seems that a written 30-day notice

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Originally Posted by elinormann

Thanks for the answers. I'm still a bit confused whether my son-in-law is actually a tenant or a guest.

He has never paid a dime of rent or utilities and has never offered to. (He's never been asked to pay anything either since it was originally only a short-term temporary living arrangement) Doesn't this make him a guest??

I'd prefer not to have to go through the whole eviction process. It seems that a written 30-day notice

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Telling him he will no longer be welcome in my house after the thirty days and after that date he will be considered trespassing.

Then, on the 31st day, can I change the locks and call the police if he shows up?

He doesn't ever have to pay a dime or rent.. he doesn't even have to agree to be a tenant.. a guest that long overstays their welcome becomes a tenant... all he has to do is stay their longer than a certain period to be considered a tenant, personally I am not sure of the exact time... but its something from one month to something much less than a year... someone else might know a more exact number..

If he was there for a month... you could do what you said... if he was there for much longer then its constructive eviction and YOU could be in trouble if he was smart enough to report you for it... seriously...

You HAVE to do this the right way or he will be there a LOT longer than he has to be. And after three years... in the eyes of the law... hes a full fledged tenant.

After 3 years he is a resident and has to be treated as a tenant.

What happens (in California) if I mail 30-day notice to vacate via USPO Certified Return Receipt and my free-loading adult son-in-law 'tenant' ignores the orange slip and doesn't even pick up the Certified letter at the post office? Does it still mean I've notified him even if he doesn't receive it?

In the past I've hand-delivered any communications to him by slipping them under his locked bedroom door and given a cc: to his mother. But he always claims he doesn't have to read anything from me. He makes a big dramatic and hostile point of ripping up the notes and flinging them in the wastebasket. His mother does nothing.

I'm quite sure that he will completely ignore anything I mail to him in the mail, particularly if he has to physically go to the post office to pick it up... which he simply won't.

I could mail a copy to him 'in care of' his mother and she might go to the PO and pick up the Certified letter... But if she signs the Return Receipt, even though its addressed to her son, albeit c/o her, does that qualify as being received by him?

Lastly, this may be a no-brainer but I thought I'd make sure... The 30-day period begins as of the date of the notice, correct? The date received has no bearing on anything, right?

Thank you so much for any advise. I find it extremely helpful.

All the notations each day on the unsigned for letter by the PO before they return it to you should suffice in court.
Could you explain the situation more? Do you rent a house or apartment to his mother, and he lives with her? Was your daughter married to him and left? Is he on the lease with his mother? You say 'under his locked bedroom door.' It's confusing, to say the least.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

All the notations each day on the unsigned for letter by the PO before they return it to you should suffice in court.
Could you explain the situation more? Do you rent a house or apartment to his mother, and he lives with her? Was your daughter married to him and left? Is he on the lease with his mother? You say 'under his locked bedroom door.' It's confusing, to say the least.

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Oops sorry to be so vague...
My wife and I bought a 4-BR house just over 3years ago. Her 31-year old unemployed deadbeat son moved in a few months later as a temporary guest... But he's stayed ever since. He has never paid rent or utilities, ever.

I tolerated him in the past to keep the peace in my marriage and the household. The house is now anything but peaceful and my wife and I are talking about separating. I want her son out ASAP! He's a free loading alcoholic potsmoking hostile spoiled child.

I gather I must go through formal eviction process to get him out because he's lived here for 3 years, therefore established tenancy, albeit not under any type of Lease, contract or even verbal agreement.

I'm in hopes to scare him out with a 'polite' notice telling him he will no longer be welcome as a guest in my house after 30 days and that after said date he will be considered trespassing... But if he gets nasty, I'll have to go the eviction path... Unless there are other options out there..?

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Originally Posted by elinormann

Oops sorry to be so vague...
My wife and I bought a 4-BR house just over 3years ago. Her 31-year old unemployed deadbeat son moved in a few months later as a temporary guest... But he's stayed ever since. He has never paid rent or utilities, ever.

I tolerated him in the past to keep the peace in my marriage and the household. The house is now anything but peaceful and my wife and I are talking about separating. I want her son out ASAP! He's a free loading alcoholic potsmoking hostile spoiled child.

I gather I must go thru formal eviction process to get him out because he's lived here for 3 years, therefore established tenancy, albeit not under any type of Lease, contract or even verbal agreement.

I'm in hopes to scare him out with a 'polite' notice telling him he will no longer be welcome as a guest in my house after 30 days and that after said date he will be considered trespassing... But if he gets nasty, I'll have to go the eviction path... Unless there are other options out there...???

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Good lord, sorry again... He's my step- SON not my son-in-law... (I have the flu & brain's a bit fogged)

There's a snag in all this: you can't evict by yourself. Your wife has to be part of it.
Otherwise, you might be able to get him out sooner as a lodger, rather than a tenant, under CA civil code.

If your stepson has lived there for more than one year then CA law requires that you give him 60 days written notice that his tenancy is terminated, rather than 30 days.

If your wife is an owner of the property then your attempt to evict him will be pointless if she does not join you in the eviction. If one owner gives someone permission to live on the property then the other owner cannot evict them.

If your wife joins you in the eviction then you should send the letter to your stepson by certified mail, return receipt requested, and send a copy by regular mail. At the bottom of the notice you put a notation that the notice was "Sent by certified mail, return receipt request and regular mail." If the certified mail gets returned as unclaimed but the regular mail does not get returned then the court will consider that it was received. The operative date for the notice should be the date of the postmark, so your best bet is to allow at least one or two extra days in the notice period.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

There's a snag in all this: you can't evict by yourself. Your wife has to be part of it.
Otherwise, you might be able to get him out sooner as a lodger, rather than a tenant, under CA civil code.

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Thank goodness, my wife is not a co-owner. She is not named on any of the house documents.

I'm very curious about the definition of a "lodger". Can it really apply to someone who's been staying rent-free in my house for 3 years? He did leave once for 2 months but returned when he didn't 'like' the other household situation.

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... he always claims he doesn't have to read anything from me. He makes a big dramatic and hostile point of ripping up the notes and flinging them in the wastebasket. His mother does nothing.. .

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It make absolutely no difference whether he reads it, tears it up, or whatever. If you can prove that you made the written notice available for him, and in his presence, that is sufficient.

I'm about to evict my adult step-son from my house. He's lived here for 3 years and never paid any rent. He did leave once for 2 months but came back to free-load here again.

I've learned that as a "tenant" I must serve him a 60-day notice to vacate. Is there any chance that he qualifies as a "lodger" and does this mean I can get him out sooner and/or easier than the tenant eviction path?

Threads merged to get all information in one place.

Please don't start a new thread over the same issue. Your threads have been merged.

Yes he might qualify as a lodger, If he does, that means you do not have to go to court to obtain an eviction order. However, a lodger is usually one who pays rent. Since he doesn't pay rent, this may not fly.You still have to give him legal notice. Legal notice means one rental period. But since he doesn't pay rent, I would give 60 days notice. If he says he doesn't have to read it, have someone take a picture that you handed it to him.

So what I would do, is give him the written 60 days notice and include that he is considered a lodger. And that, under CA law, if he doesn't vacate before the 60 days is up, he will be considered a trespasser and be arrested for criminal trespass.

I would talk to the local police to make sure they will back you up on this. Often they won't.

If he still refuses to leave and the police will not remove him as a trespasser, then you will have to get an eviction order.