On Sunday I realized that my daughter who is 15yrs has been trying to contact me via IM since April. I don't normally respond to IM's I don't know and since the email started with barbie I didn't pay it no mind. Anyway on Sunday for some weird reason this barbie email address popped up on my msn with my daughters name on there. My heart jumped and without thinking I immediately sent her an email asking her to get in contact with me. She replied almost immediately and we planned to meet the next day which was yesterday after school. She still lives at home with her mother who I guess wouldn't be too keen on her meeting me. I'm married with 3 kids, my wife already knew about my daughter and I had to tell her everything that transpired this weekend. Now my question is how do I work this out since everything is happening so quick for me.

We need more details. Why have you had no contact for 8 years? What is the custody arrangement? Is the custody court ordered? What state/country are you in? Are you paying child support? If not, why not?

What do you want to work out?

Well there's no court order here, her mother just refuses to let me have access, took her to court to have access to my daughter and it dragged on for so long I got upset one day and stormed out of court. I live in London and because I was working at the time, I wasn't eligible for legal aid, so I went to court self represented all the time because I couldn't afford to pay for a lawyer. She on the other hand, she qualified for legal aid because she wasn't working and didn't care if the case dragged on for years. I have tried going to her house in the past in the hope of seeing my daughter but she always slammed the door in my face. I wrote letters to my daughter and she wouldn't give it to her. Stopped paying child support because I wasn't seeing my daughter and CSA in the UK is non existent I'd say

So you made two mistakes. First giving up and walking out. Second for stopping support, that was spiting your daughter not the mother.

I really don't know how things work in the UK, but when you go up against an attorney without one, you start with 2 strikes and have to try much harder. You need to keep hammering at the court that all you want is to spend time with your daughter.

You still didn't answer what you want. If its to spend time with your daughter, then you have a way to contact her, so arrange meetings. Since there is no court order denying you visitation, then she is your daughter so you have the right. If the mother tries to go to court to block it, then you have to fight it.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

So you made two mistakes. First giving up and walking out. Second for stopping support, that was spiting your daughter not the mother.

I really don't know how things work in the UK, but when you go up against an attorney without one, you start with 2 strikes and have to try much harder. You need to keep hammering at the court that all you want is to spend time with your daughter.

You still didn't answer what you want. If its to spend time with your daughter, then you have a way to contact her, so arrange meetings. Since there is no court order denying you visitation, then she is your daughter so you have the right. If the mother tries to go to court to block it, then you have to fight it.

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Thanks Scott really appreciate that