There's this male acquaintance I have, who I saw yesterday and the day before. On the day before yesterday, he visited the store my sister and I own and we all chatted for a while. Before he left my sister hugged him goodbye, I said I wanted a hug too so he hugged me. Upon seeing him again yesterday at a convention he held out his arms to hug me. [I guess this is how we greet each other now lol] I hugged him back but each time we've hugged so far I've noticed he'll linger a bit and then end the hug by sliding his hand down my arm. It makes me feel insecure about my hugs, like I don't hug long enough.

But yesterday when he did the whole sling his hand down my arm thing in front of girlfriend I felt sort of awkward, and pulled my arm away. I tried to be friendly to his girlfriend, but she didn't say hi to me when I said hi, she just stood there even when I complimented her. It was all very awkward. Am I looking too far into this? Is this just how some guys hug for no reason? What should I do about next time?

'Like you don't hug long enough?' No, he's testing you to see if you are interested in going further. And his girlfriend is furious. End of story! No more lingering hugs unless you want to get involved with him. I doubt that he'd actually leave her, but I'm not there, so that part's a guess.

Don't get a big head. It's just a hug,nothing more than that.

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Originally Posted by whatevsdude

don't get a big head. it's just a hug,nothing more than that.

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Um, I hugged many people in my life. Including guys who I knew actually liked me, none have hugged me this way. Frankly I find the way he hugs me uncomfortable. I'm def not imagining things or being conceited in anyway or else I wouldn't have made a question about it.

How to avoid hugs:
How to Avoid Being Hugged by Overly Friendly Adults and Why It's Rude to Be a Hugger - Yahoo! Voices - voices.yahoo.com

Thanks, I read the article. I think the handshake might be too formal since no one my age does that much, but maybe something more playful like a fist bump might work?

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Originally Posted by joypulv

'Like you don't hug long enough?' No, he's testing you to see if you are interested in going further. And his girlfriend is furious. End of story! No more lingering hugs unless you want to get involved with him. I doubt that he'd actually leave her, but I'm not there, so that part's a guess.

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Thanks for your reply, and I don't believe she'd leave him either. I was kind to her, and didn't try to hug him first so I don't want to blame myself for the entire situation. Although half way through the hug I felt really uncomfortable and when he was sliding his hand down my arm I was thinking "what are you doing?!" I felt guilty and awkward even though I didn't do anything. :S

Please stop opening new posts with the same info but on different boards. They will be removed.

You are dwelling on something that should have been obvious in an instant. Stay away from him. Don't even be flattered by the attention - he might just enjoy getting his girlfriend angry and jealous.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

You are dwelling on something that should have been obvious in an instant. Stay away from him. Don't even be flattered by the attention - he might just enjoy getting his girlfriend angry and jealous.

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Thanks for your reply. I'll try to avoid him as much as possible but if he comes into our store again I can't avoid him. I also run into him at conventions sometimes (my family and I are vendors at certain events).

I know I must sound naïve but what do you mean by

"You are dwelling on something that should have been obvious in an instant"?

What should have been obvious? Thx

Would love some more opinions on this matter thanks!

Let go of the hug really quick! When he slides his hand down your arm he's going to look silly still touching your arm when you aren't hugging anymore! You are the one who said the first time "can I get a hug too!", so he is only doing what you asked. Right now he may be oblivious that you are weirded out and he is just trying to be friendly. The hand down your arm sounds odd.. maybe he is trying to see if you like him, maybe that's just his way of trying to come off as "genuine"? Maybe that's a habit he has when he finds someone attractive or how he is with every single person he hugs. Who knows!

But just let go of the hugs super quick, be awkward/uncomfortable the whole time and he should get the hint soon. If he doesn't get the hint within one or two more hugs you're going to have to flat out tell him how about a fist bump and put out your fist. Or just try the fist bump right away. If he isn't a complete weirdo then your awkward body language and "how bout a fist bump" should do the trick! If he STILL tries to get hugs and you're starting to think he's a creeper, say whatever you need to! Sorry no hugs today. With an annoyed look on your face. Or when you see him turn and walk away. But most people would get the hint from very obvious uncomfortable body language and always ending the hug super quick or trying to fist bump or shake hands instead. Good luck!

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Originally Posted by greentree30

Let go of the hug really quick! When he slides his hand down your arm he's going to look silly still touching your arm when yall aren't hugging anymore! You are the one who said the first time "can I get a hug too!", so he is only doing what you asked. Right now he may be oblivious that you are weirded out and he is just trying to be friendly. The hand down your arm sounds odd..maybe he is trying to see if you like him, maybe that's just his way of trying to come off as "genuine"? Maybe that's a habit he has when he finds someone attractive or how he is with every single person he hugs. Who knows!

But just let go of the hugs super quick, be awkward/uncomfortable the whole time and he should get the hint soon. If he doesn't get the hint within one or two more hugs you're going to have to flat out tell him how bout a fist bump and put out your fist. Or just try the fist bump right away. If he isn't a complete weirdo then your awkward body language and "how bout a fist bump" should do the trick! If he STILL tries to get hugs and you're starting to think he's a creeper, say whatever you need to! Sorry no hugs today. With an annoyed look on your face. Or when you see him turn and walk away. But most people would get the hint from very obvious uncomfortable body language and always ending the hug super quick or trying to fist bump or shake hands instead. Good luck!

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Hey, thanks for your response. I'll try to let go really fast next time. I'm always the first one to let go anyway and it's actually when we're no longer hugging that he slides his hand down my arm. I guess it's possible he may not realize what he's doing, but really you think anyone would be aware of what they were doing. It's an obvious gesture. Haha -_-

I'm always noticeably uncomfortable when he does that. Not sure it's making a difference, but hopefully? If he continues to hug me in a way that makes me uncomfortable, especially around his girlfriend, I think I'll out right say that I'd prefer to "fist bump."