Why do I have such a hard time holding a job and what can I do to change?
Why do I have such a hard time holding a job and what can I do to change?
I was terminated in my probationary period in '09 because "business was slow". I asked them if it had anything to do with my performance and my manager said no. My manager said I "caught on quickly". They gave me a good reference. They didn't hire anyone else for my job for over a year.
I worked at a job from March 2011-May 2012. I was very good at my job, high achiever (ranked 2nd out of a telesales team of 7), good performance reviews, gave me a raise, and an excellent reference. I was told I was "tenacious", "industrious", and "intense" (something other she said other employees noticed about me). They said I was "shy" and "reserved" but "always helpful" and I needed to play closer attention to details (there was a lot of data in this job, and detail isn't my strongest suit), though my manager said I improved as I progressed at the job. I also was spoken to about being unsociable once, but later my manager realized this this as connected to my panic attacks and she told my next employers that I was a nice, sociable person. I was very grateful to her because she didn't fire me when I had to take a week off work to control the panic attacks. I quit because I couldn't stand the side effects of the drugs I used to control them. No matter how good I was, I kept thinking I was going to be fired even though she offered to have me back when I left.
Three weeks ago, I was let go during my probationary period again because I didn't "fit the position". They noted I came in early every day and was "committed" to the job, and they liked me personally. They gave me two weeks severance and a reference. They aren't hiring anyone to replace and refused to tell me why they were letting me go. My grandfather thinks I might have been too timid and scared of people and that I didn't assert myself enough. They also fired a woman who had my job before me in February even though she had 10 years of experience in the industry.
I've had stressful job before. I'm happiest when my life is busy, chaotic, with intense physical and emotional experiences. I've operated heavy equipment near children, and ran the operations side of my father's business successfully. There I never had to be afraid of being fired. What can I do to be a better employee? I'm a good problem solver, I will work until I collapse (physically or mentally), I never slack off, and am pretty competitive. People I have managed said that I was alternately "Type A" and "motherly". My interests lie in design (particularly costume history), history, literature, nature, and philosophy. I'm fairly introverted and have only about 3 very loyal, good friends.
