Hi Everyone. I dated a man for about 3 months and then he broke it off. Then we got back together about a month later and dated for another couple of months. At this time he was still on dating sites and would go on the occasional date. We talked and then quit seeing each other for the past six months. He lives in a neighboring town about 45 minutes away from me. Anyway, we have kept in touch through email this whole time. Last week I decided to ask him out on a date. He emailed me back and said that he had really been missing me and would like to see me, however he is currently dating someone else and didn't think she would appreciate him going out with me. Then ended the email again saying maybe we could get together sometime. I sent him an email back and said that I would have to stop contacting him because I was not meant to be the other woman, I am meant to be the only woman. I told him if it didn't work out with her to let me know. Ok, did I do the right thing? What, if anything, can I do now? Do I just leave him alone and wait and see if he contacts me? I am having a hard time letting this guy go. Any advice out there? I would appreciate any input.

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Originally Posted by debradoodles4

Hi Everyone. I dated a man for about 3 months and then he broke it off. Then we got back together about a month later and dated for another couple of months. At this time he was still on dating sites and would go on the occasional date. We talked and then quit seeing each other for the past six months. He lives in a neighboring town about 45 minutes away from me. Anyway, we have kept in touch through email this whole time. Last week I decided to ask him out on a date. He emailed me back and said that he had really been missing me and would like to see me, however he is currently dating someone else and didn't think she would appreciate him going out with me. Then ended the email again saying maybe we could get together sometime. I sent him an email back and said that I would have to stop contacting him because I was not meant to be the other woman, I am meant to be the only woman. I told him if it didn't work out with her to let me know. Ok, did I do the right thing? What, if anything, can I do now? Do I just leave him alone and wait and see if he contacts me? I am having a hard time letting this guy go. Any advice out there? I would appreciate any input.

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Debradoodles4! Please do not write the man anymore... if he wants you he will find you when he's free. If he doesn't want you, why would you want to keep hurting yourself like that? Get your mind off him by concentrating on all the good things you have in your life already. I'm sorry, I know that hurts.

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Originally Posted by debradoodles4

Hi Everyone. I dated a man for about 3 months and then he broke it off. Then we got back together about a month later and dated for another couple of months. At this time he was still on dating sites and would go on the occasional date. We talked and then quit seeing each other for the past six months. He lives in a neighboring town about 45 minutes away from me. Anyway, we have kept in touch through email this whole time. Last week I decided to ask him out on a date. He emailed me back and said that he had really been missing me and would like to see me, however he is currently dating someone else and didn't think she would appreciate him going out with me. Then ended the email again saying maybe we could get together sometime. I sent him an email back and said that I would have to stop contacting him because I was not meant to be the other woman, I am meant to be the only woman. I told him if it didn't work out with her to let me know. Ok, did I do the right thing? What, if anything, can I do now? Do I just leave him alone and wait and see if he contacts me? I am having a hard time letting this guy go. Any advice out there? I would appreciate any input.

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Hey girl,
I know how you feel in a way. Definitely don't wait around for him,there are too many fish in the see... even though it's hard to realize that sometimes. You are worth more than waiting around for a second chance, let some other guy make you his princess. Plus, if you really like him the more you get out and meet people, he might just come around for good. But don't sit waiting. I just wwent through a breakup and my ex wants and he is now hanging with the "other" woman he broke my heart with. The whole thing is really uncomfortable and I'm trying to move on. I joined E-harmony, it's actually a pretty cool site - if you have the time check it out and sign up!

That you are having a hard time letting him go is an indication of how much you somehow disconnected from reality back there. He is gone six months now whether you let go or not. It might be wise for you to look at how you aren't staying in touch with the facts here and have something of a chat with yourself about that. Its important to know where you are in the stages of dating.

Also the dating game works better when you understand some of the social nuances to it --- insisting on exclusivity too early in a dating arrangement is one of those easy to make mistakes. Dating begins as non-exclusive. If the dating progresses to more and more, it may turn into exclusive over time but that is usually by mutual consent. You seem intent on making him be that with you, whether he is up for it or not?

Date, go easy, and offer what you think is appropriate. Accept or reject what is offered back. Once you become a committed relationship (way down the road) maybe then you can negotiate and you'll both make changes for each other. But as casual dates, I don't think so. If you remain focused on this man you miss out of a lot.

You will find someone better than him. He broke up with u then you guys r togethr n now he says he's dating someone else. You are hurting yourself always hanging on. The longer you hang on the more pain and the harder to let go. It is probably hard for you to let go right now but just tell yourself it is for your own good.

I think you did the right thing. I'd just leave him alone and wait and see if he contacts you. He doesn't sound like he's ready for any kind of exclusive, one-on-one relationship so keep that in mind.

Hi guys. I just want to say thank you for the quick responses. As far as exclusivity is concerned, he is the one that wanted to be exclusive right away with me. I feel he has been ambivalent about our relationship pretty much from the beginning. It has just been hard for me because of the connection I felt with him. I know what I get to do. Leave him alone. I am pretty new to this whole dating game and am finding it difficult. I am 46 and was married for 21 years. Could be why this is so hard for me. He was my first post divorce relationship. I met him on match.com. I am a little concerned about going back on the internet for dating. Thanks for the advice though. I will take it to heart. Blessings to all of you.