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-   -   Why is Life always so Unfair? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=713325)

  • Nov 1, 2012, 03:21 AM
    Akshaya123
    Why is Life always so Unfair?
    I am not his first love. His first love cheated on him and he lost all his faith and trust in love and girls.But as we became friends and started understanding each other he started trusting me.It was very difficult for me to gain his trust because of his past.But I never considered his past. Very soon I realised we are far more than just friends.Suddenly one day we decided to marry, there was no proposal no love story but we knew we wanted to live together. And I love him so much that I can do anything just to bring a smile on his face.Things changed later when we put all this before our parents. They didn't say no but they put us in such a situation for which we couldn't find any solution. My parents wanted to get us married that year only and his parents asked us to wait for 3 years.My parents had their own reasons for which they wanted us to marry very soon. And I don't know why his parents asked time of 3 years.My parents were worried because they were not sure that after 3years they will definetely agree for marriage & they started putting imaginative stories like what if they deny me after 3years. Above this all my hero(the guy) wanted to pursue MBA. So I somehow managed my parents to wait till he writes his MBA entrance exam.Now after one year he wrote his exam in last month and again the marriage issue started. My parents want us to get married this year and his parents are still asking us to wait. And now it has become impossible for me to make my parents to wait. We don't want to hurt our parents or leave them. I don't want to oppose my parents anymore because I have already done it for one year neither he wants to oppose his parents. We tried hell lot to make our parents understand but they are not ready to listen.I don't want to lose him. I may not be his first love but he is my first love and I love him madly and so does he. We both are working and have good jobs.We have build this relationship with lot of love and care and both took lot of pain(because of his past) and built trust. We don't want to lose this relationship. Now we are given time of 1month to decide our life. Please suggest what to do.
  • Nov 1, 2012, 03:42 AM
    joypulv
    I can't answer the question of why life is unfair - it just is, for most of us.
    But it's very sad that your parents are so suspicious. Here's a man who loves their daughter and who has good chances of a solid career, and they are afraid the marriage won't happen? Is there any way to get a promise from his parents that they approve of the marriage, even if it's 3 years from now? That sounds like the key solution.

    What do your parents want to do after one month - arrange your marriage to someone else? Maybe you need to prepare for denying your parents. They can't force you, but they can disown you and make you leave. A very hard decision for young people in some parts of the world. You have a good job so can move out and maybe find an apartment with another woman from work? (I'm in the US where such things are common - not the arranged marriages, but moving in with roommates when parents don't approve, or even if they do.)
  • Nov 1, 2012, 07:49 AM
    Akshaya123
    My parents are just like other typical indian parents. They are very much worried and I don't blame them for this. I feel lucky that I have them. Actually my parents tried to talk to them and arrange an engagement ceremony and told them that we can do the marriage later but his parents are not ready for that even. This made my parents suspicious.And now that they have not got any confirmation about marriage from his parents they want to arrange my marriage with someone else. And coming to moving to apartment part , I can't do that because it's a very big thing in the society where I live(South India) and moreover that guy also doesn't want me to leave my family. He is totally against the idea of going againt families.Am really worried. What will I do if he leaves me for his family?

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