Hi I’m a college student and since last year I noticed this girl and I really like her, but I didn't have the guts to make a move so she could notice me, and it's been some about 4 month that she got along with this other guy whose like 3 years older than her(and me as well) and considering summer holidays she's practically been with him less than 1 and a half month, and from my point of view it's not that serious but still they spend time with each other,

Anyway today at the library I finally made move and broke the ice when she was talking with my friends I went over and offered them gummy bear which by the way is her favorite snack according to her FB page! But she and her friend refused to take one, so what I’m asking here is that is there any chance for me to somehow win her back!

You can't win her back because she was never your girl to start with. If she's seeing someone else, it's not for you to determine how serious it is. Refusing a gummy bear isn't the best determination of whether she likes you.

I think you need to respectfully ask her on a date. Simply invite her to dinner. If she says "no thank you", that's your answer. She doesn't want to date you and you need to just write her off as a potential partner, and keep looking. Don't take it too personally - we each only want to end up with one other person, and it's pretty tough to find your match. If she doesn't feel an attraction or connection with you, better off not to start a dating relationship with her, and to know it's not going to happen so you can move on.

If she accepts the date, just try to have a nice time. Don't put big expectations on it and don't go for the kiss or physical connection on a first date. If the date goes well, ask her on another. Again, if she says yes, you can move to the next step and see how date 2 goes. If not, you have your answer and you just move on.

Don't be so infatuated with this young lady that you feel like the world will end if she doesn't want to date you - if you're in college, there are lots of girls to date - some will be interested, some won't. The trick is to keep an open mind, be nice to everyone, accept "no" as an answer when that's what a young lady tells you, and move on.

Good luck!

Well I give you lots of creative points with the gummy bear.
Who knows if she likes you. I talked to my girlfriend for over a year before we developed feelings for each other. You offered her a gummy bear...
Just get to know her.

As a man, you should be confident! That's all.

Offering gifts is not how you get someone to like you. You are likable by showing interest, by giving little compliments (not flattery), and by being friendly in general.

You also are wasting time trying to figure out how involved she is with another man. It might be serious, it might be on it's way out, people can change their feelings in a heartbeat.

Thank you all, but the problem is I'm not in the US, I live in Turkey and things are quite different down here let me explain the situation in a better way, like 'dontknownuthin' said I didn't have her @ the first place to start with so I can't win her back, and you guys also said to ask her out, well things aren't like that here, I mean you don't just ask someone out! 1-st u'll have to be something like her friend! And then you can get to know 'em better and occasionally go out for a drink or something, and this other guy which she spends time with (as I said it's not like dating or anything- I just see them together a lot!) is almost the same as me(height,appearance, etc) but there's a difference between me and him and that's the fact that I'm richer!(plz don't call me shallow) and I guess I'm a nice guy and I'm nice almost to everyone! But the problem is I was afraid to go anywhere close her and now that I've spoke to her(I mean the gummy bear and stuff!) I'm not afraid no more so I'll start trying to go to her more often, and again my question is what do you guys think my chances are here? Do you think maybe I could get her to like me (like this other guy that she's with right now) 'cause you c like I said if she find him attractive well there is a good chance that she'll find me attractive as well! And how can I make her notice me and like me?
p.s sorry for the bizarre grammar!

OK, so you meant win her, not win her again. Language difference.
And I can appreciate the fact that you can't just ask her out on a date. In some ways, it's the same everywhere, because SO MANY women don't like guys whose first approach to her is to ask her on a date! I'm a woman and although old now, I know.
But you have to stop comparing yourself to this other guy she likes, and you have to stop wondering how much she likes him. When a woman is attracted to a man it has absolutely NOTHING to do with how much he looks like some other guy. It's never anything you can define. You can't speculate on chances. (And we certainly can't guess; we aren't even there.) You just have to TRY and keep being friendly.
I fell for the love of my life when I saw that he was shy but also friendly, a wonderful combination. Don't try to be clever, cool, witty, don't brag, don't do anything fake. Just be nice and be genuine.

Thank you "joypulv" I really appreciate the time that you spare reading and replying, I'll try being friendly and nice, and it's not going to be fake 'cause I like being nice so if it's cool with you and it's not too much to ask, I'll keep you posted with stuffs so maybe you could help me through the whole process ('cause you c your a women, and you can help me much more than a dude can!) or better yet show me some sort of creative ways to make her like me!
Tanx in advance

I think all you can do is be friendly and pleasant, acknowledge her without pushing too hard and making her feel uncomfortable. If she encourages you, continue the efforts. If she discourages you, well, back off a bit but if you see her from time to time, still be friendly and maybe she'll come around. I'm glad I'm in the US because I'm bad enough at reading people's signals and here, if a man is interested, he will ask me on a date. If he is happy with me on the date, he will ask me if he can kiss me or will ask me on another date. It's so much easier when we can be direct.

Then again, we have no corner on the market of romance here in the West. We have many discussions with our guy or girl friends to interpret what different actions might mean, whether the person we're interested in likes us or not, whether refusing a gummy bear means they are refusing us! It's never easy. If you stay positive though, while she might miss out on noticing what a great catch you are, maybe her cute friend will notice you and value you at a higher level!

And hey, if you have financial resources, it doesn't make up for poor character or bad looks or whatever, but certainly most women do hope their partner can provide for an eventual family, so it's not shallow to view that as one of the things you have to offer. As long as you don't think you can buy a girl's affection with money alone, being able to offer financial security will mean something to her, and probably to her family as well.

Keep us all posted, here. I don't usually respond to private messages. Don'tknownuthin, I didn't know you are a woman, glad to find out (although I shouldn't assume you are just because men ask you out, of course).
There's plenty of wise men here too, greenboy. Keep answering back.

Start slow, since she DOES already have a man. Create a friendship with her and accept her decisions, the one thing a girl likes is having a guy friend to be there for her when she needs one. Best of luck :]

Will do!

Guys today I realized I don't like her as much as I thought I did! I mean today I just looked at her in some sort of a way I never did before! And I had this strange whisper in my ear saying: she's not that pretty! And there it was! I don't think I like her anymore, I guess like "joypulv" said feelings can change in a heart bit, so what do you guys think? Has this ever happened to you? Liking someone so much(still not a crush I guess) and then realize they weren't as good as you think they were! Or it's just a temporary thing, I would really appreciate id you would reply

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by greenboy_2

guys today i realized i don't like her as much as i thought i did! i mean today i just looked at her in some sort of a way i never did b4! and i had this strange whisper in my ear saying: she's not that pretty! and there it was! i don't think i like her anymore, i guess like "joypulv" said feelings can change in a heart bit, so what do u guys think? has this ever happened 2 u? liking someone so much(still not a crush i guess) and then realize they weren't as good as u think they were! or it's just a temporary thing, i would really appreciate id u would reply

---

I have been in the "dating world" since I was twelve; and the first time I had a crush on somebody, I was honestly three years old. Over the years (especially from 12-current, current being 14) I have liked a bunch of different people. Now I divide my lists of "people I like" in two lists that help a lot: 1) People I am interested in, and 2) People I am interested in DATING.

There is a big difference between somebody you like, and somebody you love. I just recently found the philosophy "If you like somebody enough to think about marrying them; then it's true love, if you don't see yourself wanting to marry them one day, it's not."