What the hell am I doing with her.
Ok. So. I need help. I'm madly in love with this girl. Like madly. I'm 27 and have had a number of long term relationships now and she makes me feel like no one else.
But that's not the problem. We met about 3 years ago. I had just been dumped at Xmas, she came round as a friend to comfort me. She was with her now ex at this point, of 11 years, dating since they were 17. Over the course of a few weeks we ended up having an affair. It went on for months and I feel in love with her then.
I know it's stupid, wait it gets better (worse). We break it off, we try to just be friends. Things are going well. She gets cancer. Her world falls apart. She fights and she is now cancer free. Her partner found out about her affair with me. They broke up, her world falls apart again.
I was not the only one she was sleeping with at the time, her exact words were 'I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you the extent of the cheating'. So of course I'm picturing her leaving after spending time with me to other blokes too.
Anyway I've been helping as much as I can, we hang out, I cook her dinner, we make love and it's a truly beautiful thing and I know she has feelings for me.
But she has gone through so much recently, and has missed major milestones in her life because of her now defunct relationship. So of course, she wants to date guys, she is going to travel and backpackers and all that silly .
I know that this is what she needs. It's not about me, it's silly to expect her to be looking at a relationship 3 month after her break up and 6 months after cancer. I get it. If you love something let it go. But I am crazy in love with this girl. I want to show her I love her by letting her go, but I have no idea how to actually do that. I get jealous when I think of her flirting with, wanting other guys. What the hell do I do?
